h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've never been one to keep a diary, my sister did when she was younger, I remember she used to write to Princess Leia. I know because I read her diary.

Just lately my sleeping- or more accurately, lack of sleep- has been getting worse. I don't know why. I've changed so many things, no alcohol, no caffeine, healthy(ish) foods, getting more exercise, all to no avail. My job is 9 - 5, I don't take it home with me. I can't seem to switch my mind off at night.

I recently asked the doctor for some sleeping tablets. I took some on Sunday night. I slept, a bit. All day Monday I could hardly keep my eyes open at work, I felt terrible. Monday evening, I went to bed at the usual time. I didn't take any more tablets as I really don't want to get dependent on them. I lay awake for ages, as usual.

I don't remember falling asleep- who does?- and I never ever remember dreams. Somewhere between those twilight worlds of sleeping and being awake, I was aware of trying to wake up, but my whole body felt paralised. My eyes were open but I couldn't move my head. I tried to call out to my partner, but my mouth wouldn't make a sound. I was screaming for her to help me but I never made a sound, I tried desperately to move my arms but I couldn't. I felt like I was going to die.

I eventually became awake with a start. When people say that I never know what they mean. For me, waking with a start literally meant my whole body jerked, like I was in spasm. Horrible feeling. I felt bad the rest of the day, my jaw ached like I'd been biting down on something really hard. I checked the internet for side-effects on the sleeping tablet. Among the many listed, I saw that possible side effects were sleep-walking, and phycosis. Maybe that's what I'd experienced.

Last night I felt too scared to sleep.

So, here I am at work, keeping my head down, getting on with work, just the man in the corner.