h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He took his own pulse

And felt it convulse

"Oh dear - I'm alive, then" he said

******

An inventive young tart from East Sheen

And no he's a zombie to dread.

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There was a young man from Goonhilly

Used a python to keep herself clean

*Don't even try to imagine it*

It crept up behind her

Who married a cat called Billy

Saying it couldn't find a...

*****
Anyone want to help me with my new Guide piece on double entendres? It's here: http://www.h2g2.com/A206489
Go on, we could make it a really large one...

Saying it couldn't find a...
Thin sponge for to get inbetween


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In Latin, he is Totus anctus,

(resisted the temptation to have the word "pussy" in next line)

But Billy kept chasing after birds

And was so covered in turds

That pussy uttered the words


;^)#
resistance is useless

"This limerick is just getting silly."

From his whiskers right down to his willie

(Sometimes you have to go for the obvious approach)

(Resurrecting Si's line so it doesn't get lost, and adding my own...)

In Latin he is Totus anctus
But in English his life is just thankless

He seems so absurd

3

E're he utters a word

Such is the life of this poor, thankless bird

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Poory Jim Bob, father to a hog...

A herrimg, a duck and a frog

His truck up on blocks