h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ginger Spice's skirt was dropped, revealing what wasn't priorly revealed in her burning nether-regions. A great doggy-looking thing, which was flying, came in the window, screaming: "You must save the world from the great NOTHING!"

"Not until someone put's out that fire down there!", Ginger asserted. "Nobody goes anywhere while MY snatch is on fire!"

"Spoiled rotton wench!", Gilligan muttered.

The Skipper blushed, and said, "Well, I wouldn't know how to go about doing that!"

"That's obvious, 20 years stuck on that damn island, and you never even laid a finger on me!", snooted Ginger from the Island.

"Who the bloody hell are you?", Ginger Spice demanded.

"I'm the first, the ORIGINAL Ginger! And if ANYBODY'S burning snatch is going to be doused by these apes, it's going to be MINE! I waited 20 years, 20 years, I tell you!"

At that point...

*A very red-faced Bones appeared*....I'm a doctor not a fireman......beam me up Scotty!!
shazz

I canna luke doktarrr. Ah thunk sheeees gonna blowwww!!!!!!

(Did you know it's very hard to type when you're laughing? -Wowbagger)

"This is more Ginger than I can handle!" thought Bones.
"Stand back!" exclaims Kirk, suddenly transporting in. "I'm going in."

That is illogical Jim....*expostulates Spock*...it would be wiser to send in a medibot first,you never know what you're going to find!

"SPOCK!!!! You! HAVE! noideaoftheperils... I! AM! abouttofaceBUT!.... YET! I WILL do them............ IT! IS! MY! DUTY! Asastarfleetofficer. Now... stand... back... orELSE!"

Suddenly Kirk leaps into the midst of the two Gingers. Spock raises that one eyebrow that he does so well....

"Illogical. Yet fascinating." he mutters.

.....but even the cool,detached Spock finds it hard to remain remote when he realises just what his beloved Jim is getting into!......and Bones screams a warning....I'm a doctor,not a miner!!Get out of that pit immediately Jim....or we'll have to get Scotty down here with his
tools..........

"Ya canna change the laws of physics (laws of physics, laws of physics)" says Scotty in that Canadian mock Scottish accent we all know and love.

Meanwhile Kirk, Ginger Spice and Gilligan's Island Ginger (oh la la) were...

Engaged in a menage a trois, or a menagerie, whichever suits you best. Ginger and Ginger were both ripping off the immortal Captain's tunic, screaming about being the first to have their "brush fires" put out by the inter-stellar stud.

"He's MINE! I have SENORITY!", Ginger1 screamed.

"You have that allright, you ancient tart!", retorted Ginger Spice, "If you had any more senority you'd be dead!"

"What do YOU know about passion? About LIFE? About how to PLEASE A MAN?", Ginger1 taunted.

"He'll have to sort through the wrinkles to find the right one before you can do anything, luv!", Ginger S. snorted.

"Ladies! Ladies! Please! There's plenty... of me... togoaround!", Kirk insisted.

"Well, little buddy", Skipper chortled, "Looks like we got out of that one!"

"I dunno, Skipper, I've always kind've wanted to give Ginger a try..", Gilligan started.

"Now don't start that, again!", Skipper admonished, "I've already told you the EVIL things women will do to you, and the DISEASES they carry! Remember those navy health films I showed you!"

At that precise moment....

Maryanne come up to Gilligan and purrs "You want a piece of coconut cream pie?"

.......I'll put a cherry on top just for you......if you ask nicely.............................!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gilligan goes to answer but Kirk is there in a flash.
"Did............... you say........A! CHERRY!?!"

Yes*slinked Maryanne* I have glace and maraschino~~~~and preference Mr Kirk?

Hmm... this would make a great addition to the post, huh ?

ROFL!! I think not Sporky!
shazzPRME