h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The complexes of cell phones seem in deed to be very hard to avoid these days.

In fact, cell phones can be a serious health-hazard in many ways. First added to the ones mentioned above by the first author:
For one, they can cause haemorrhoids to the unlucky user who has to answer it while going to the toilet. And once using the phone, he cannot get up and done about his business as everybody knows that it takes free hands to do that. In other words, he is stuck until he can manage to hang up.
They can also cause serious constipation to the unfortunate who carries the accursed item *before* going to the toilet. The reason being much the same as above.

Hand-free sets help some, but in return cause other problems.
The ‘cell-phone induced bruising’, deriving from leading an interesting conversation while shopping only to forget half of the items on the shopping list. Upon returning home, this can lead to external injuries suffered by domestic conflicts.
The ‘exclamation-mark condition’ where a sudden exclamation from the talker results in a started passer-by who does not note that the user was in fact talking to somebody else, as nobody can be seen. This sometimes results in severe trauma and/or bruise marks.
The ‘So it is fast, easy and cheap, huh? - effect’ where the build-up in price deriving from extensive use ends up in a conflict somewhat similar to that of ‘cell-phone induced bruising’.

But the worst condition deriving from extensive use of cell phones is without any doubt:
‘Cell withdrawal syndrome’, which can be a very serious health-hazard. When the phone is damaged, broken or even stolen / missing, the user sometimes suffers withdrawal symptoms. These symptoms can start at a mild nausea or craving, sometimes soothed by using public pay phones. But they can also lead to extreme measure, such as psychotic behaviour, purchase of pay-card phones off the rack, assault on phone-company employers or even attempted suicide by exposure to cell-phone masts.

There are many more predicaments available to the sincere cell-phone user. And the problem is spreading from the industrialized nations and to the entire world. In Denmark, there are more than a million cell phones, which makes it approximately one phone per five Danes.
The prospect is very scary!

And all of this goes without saying how many other secret agendas may be behind this electronic device. Spying devices, satellite tracking, secret viral transfer and so forth.
Undoubtedly this can be the greatest threat to mankind since the development of the wooden wheel!