h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Frank

In one of my contributions I mentioned that I had been stationed in Helmsley. You said you lived fairly near.You may be interested that in today's Observer magazine (Sunday 13 June)there is a section on 'Best Pubs'. One of them cited is The Star Inn, Helmsley (address Harome, Helmsley. Is that outside Helmsley?) I recall that when I was there there were four pubs in the square, one of which was for the exclusive use of officers and sergeant-majors and sergeants. I remember that when I was promoted to sgt from unpaid lance-cpl company clerk, I went into this exclusive club but I took with me the pte who succeeded me as company clerk. He was a chap who had been a lorry-driver in Leith, near Edinburgh, and had been in the RASC and was one of the group of RASC men who had been brought back from France in 1944 to re-train as infantry. His wife was having babies (twins I think) and was having a great deal of trouble so he was take off training.
I think the officers and sgts in the pub didn't like my bringing him in with me but they didn't say anything (British reaction?) But I got some nasty looks.I was just being egalitarian. After that we used to drink in one of the other pubs.

Harold

Hello Harold,
Helmsley is 35 minutes from here and we pass through many times on the picturesque way to Whitby.
I never drink when driving so the local hosteries do not come into my agenda for those trips, I am sorry I cannot say anything about The Star Inn. I have fish and chips from the Magpie Whitby on my mind, the best in England.
We do stop for lunch at places in the Dales and it is always a treat. Those Country pubs provide good forage for the weary traveller in his air conditioned car and at most you do not have to walk more than ten yards to a table so you get exercise as well.
A lot of that bull you mention went out with Monty's new army I was in, more so in the engineering sections. It still did exist at main bases though, I would get myself out of them as fast as possible. Garrisons did not agree with my approach to life and I was often in danger of being shot for treason or any other charge they could think of.
In the field my get in there and do it, "Problems? what problems were those" got me promotion and kudo's from the people who's job it was to get the troops rolling. Always give the willing donkey more straw.
As you can guess I was a field soldier and in my element but when the time came for a full out Trooping Parade we did it with elan because we were not jaded as the Garrison troops were.
I looked on it all as good fun, well most of it and to this day like to get in there and in my childrens eye's produce miracles. How on earth did you do that Dad brings pleasure and makes it worth while.
Nice to talk to you Harold I watch your postings, we all seem to be so busy but that is no bad thing is it.
Regards Frank.

Just thought I'd get in here Frank.My home is near Helmsley - so your stories are very interesting. Lovely to hear you're still active and enjoying life.
Regards,
Audrey Lewis

Audrey,
You are always welcome, we all seem to cast wide nets now and it is a while before we realise our friends are missing.
Busy did you say, I need to come up for air now and again. With a three year old grandson to entertain plus another on the way my next twenty five years looks to be fully booked up.
75 not out is my latest saying Matthew is trying hard to make it a knock out though. Weeks in Scotland, all day birthday party's he certainly keeps me on the run, would I have it any other way "Hmmmm" maybe not.
Regards Frank.

Frank

Well, I don't drive any more. I gave it up in 1982. That was when I and my family moved into Oxford from the large village we had been living in, some 7 miles north of Oxford. I moved into Oxford because I had become resident tutor and we lived in a college house (actually a cottage, formerly belonging to an agricultural worker, I believe.) My car was due to fail its MOT because it needed a lot of welding underneath and I decided that because we were going to live in Oxford I didn't need a car as we could take buses and if necessary taxis. So the car was left out in the road, a cul-de-sac. In the following March, at the end of term, I noticed that one of the students, a Scotsman, was trying to mend his car. (I should say that the college was for adult students, average age 30, who had been at work previosuly. This Scotsman had been in engineering.) I spoke to him and he said something about getting his engine to a garage and he asked me about my car. 'Does it work?' 'Yes, but it is not insured or taxed and needs welding.' 'Can I have a look at it?' 'OK'. He looked underneath and agreed that it did need welding. Then he asked if he could borrow it to take his engine 'up the road.' I explained again about its not being insured etc. But he nagged me so much that I eventually said, 'Take it', and signed over the papers. Then he said that going 'up the road' meant going to Glasgow. I had nightmares as I imagined all sorts of accidents. He phoned me from Glasgow to say he'd had it welded. When he returned to college he said that he liked the car and asked to buy it. So I said OK and suggested £100. He went away and came back fairly quickly holding two £50 notes (which I had never seen before or since). He had got them by selling his old car to an unsuspecting woman student.
I never did like driving, anyway.

Harold

Hello Harold,
The Saga of the car eh, been there done that but then I was an engineer.
Talking to my Neighbour over the road this morning he was wondering where to take his Mother in Law for a run out so I told him of the Inn you mentioned in Helmsley. Good idea he said and is on his way in brilliant sunshine right now.
The weather has been super and our week in Scotland was superb. We had a couple of hours of rain on one day but it was warm rain so we walked around Castle Douglas with our brollies up.
Now I am going out to give my Tomato's some TLC, trim the hedges with my cutter, I get all artistic when wielding that thing, my wife objects to the bushes looking like nubile young ladies so I have to ease back a bit. I am then going on a search and destroy mission for the snails that eat my plants, some are so big I need the old mark four Rifle prferably with a bayonet, I take no prisoners.
Keep well Harold,
Regards Frank.

Helmsley appears to be in the news. In the Saturday magazine of The Guardian 26 June there is a section on houses. This time the heading is 'Homes with Great Gardens.' It starts 'Let's Move to...' and the first on the list is Helmsley. It says that Helmsley is bulging with retirees who have lovely gardens. It also particularly mentions Duncombe Park Gardens which brings back the memory that our army camp was in Nissen huts in Duncombe Park . It praises the nearness of the moors; low crime; the game pie from Hunter's deli; castles (ruined by Cromwell); the market square and coaching inns. 'It's awfully lovely, though' but on the downside it mentions too many tourists cluttering up the pavements, buying game pies and gawping at the blooms. You need a car to get around and there is a 13-mile crawl to the A19 and A1 in Thirsk. Property is pricey.

All very interesting. But you know all this.


Harold

Hello Harold,
I certainly do know all that, all the property around this area is still rising. We get lots of people who went South to work and bought property down there coming back.
They have sold the Southern property allowing them to have a nice home here with money in their pockets, that is the value difference between the two although it is rapidly catching up.
I cannot believe what we are worth now but then it is all in property so what is the point, the kids will get it when we leave this land for higher things, or lower.
Helmsley in summer is the tour bus destination for mystery tours. My Sister was left there by one driver when his passengers mutinied because it was the third week in a row for some of them. He drove off in anger leaving my sister who had gone to the toilet. She managed to get herself a lift home by some car tourists who looked after her.
I will let you imagine what kind of armegeddon I brought down on that bus company but she got her money back plus two free trips.
My Son lives in a village about twenty minutes away and it has grown rapidly over the last ten years as people move out from town. The interlopers then complain about the smell of the cows and horses and one trying to stop them riding through the village on the horses, something that has gone on since I lived there as a boy. They want the country but on their terms. My son was asked if he could lower his barn as it spoiled the view for someone living a good way from him, a wrong move as my Son is like me they dont ask twice.
All a far cry from our days and not for the better in my opinion.
Regards Frank.

Thanks Frank and Harold,
Nice to know you're both interested in Helmsley. Lovely place - but lots of motor-bike riders go through there. One of the problems we face on our roads in North Yorkshire - they travel too fast.Apart from that it's a great place to live. I have not always lived here. My last teaching post was in Baildon, near Bradford in West Yorkshire. I love the quiet country side now. Lovely to read your stories - Greetings to you both.
Regards
Audrey

Dear Audrey,
How could we not be interested in our wonderful area. I remember ICI Managers being dragged up here kicking and screaming from their beloved South and then not wanting to leave again when the time came.
We would give them the tour and they were converted probably the beer we would quaff in moorland pubs had something to do with it as well.
I saw your picture on "We did our bit" (A1085618) it is categorised in;
UK, England, Sheffield and South Yokshire, Childhood and Evacuation.
I noticed a mail saying you had lost it. Just click on the above number.
A cracking photo of you and the gang, I think that is one of the messages we should get over to the youngsters reading the site, it was not all doom and gloom.
Summer is not my best time for computing, the sun and the garden drag me outside. My three year old Grandson Matthew is like me he will drag me into his sand pit in any weather. My Daughter has to come looking for us. Kids and Granddads have the same outlook on life, enjoy it.
I see you disobeyed the old Army saw, "Never volunteer for anything" I would never tell them I played Piano as you would end up moving it all over the barracks. But you have gone and done it now, Penelope will work your little socks off. She ain't managed to get me yet.
Keep writing,
Regards Frank.

Dear Audrey

Many thanks for your message. Actually, I haven't been back to Helmsley since being posted from there when in the army in the summer of 1945. And I didn't get to know much about it when I was stationed in Duncombe Park. It was during the very bad winter of 1944-5 although some of the northerners in the unit boasted that the weather was no worse than normal. I'm sure I recall standing in the cookhouse eating a piece of fried fish with the grease congealing on my face as I ate it, because of the cold. But did we have fried fish? Memory is fallible as one gets older.Tomorrow at my heart patients' exercise class I shall provide wine, soft drinks and cake to celebrate my 80th birthday this week.

By the way, I liked your story.

Harold

Harold,
Many happy returns on your Birthday. 80 years young as they say up here.
That near Whitby you probably ate nothing but fish it was the staple diet.
If the snow was not over your ears then it was a normal winter to us but you soft Southern lads would not know that.
Have a good one Harold and many more of them.
regards Frank. and

Frank

Today at the heart patients' exercise class I provided as an advance on my birthday, which is in five days' time,some red wine and orange drink as well as Mr Kipling's individual Bakewell tarts. All purchased at the local co-op together with some plastic beakers. Actually I had to buy a large number of beakers which were packed in plastic covering whereas I only needed about a dozen, for the usual attendance at the class. Then I forgot to take them!

The red wine was a nice Australian Merlot. I don't know much about wine -I eat and drink everything without discrimination - and I think Merlot refers to the grape used in the wine-making but I know that the minister of the United Reform Church who is a member of the class and gives me a lift to it likes Merlot so it got his approval as well as that of some other members of the class. Only two of us had second helpings of wine, myself and the 83-year old woman who is the oldest in the class. She goes to all sorts of computer classes and I call on her to help me out when necessary (very frequently.)

All very pleasant.

All the best

Harold

Glad you had a good day Harold.
I thought your birthday was today but will hang fire four days before letting off the fireworks.
Any wine gives me a head ache so it is Single Malt or a good beer. They brew a nice one called Black Sheep up on the moors and it kicks your brains out of gear if you have more than two.
Dont worry about forgetting things, I packed the cool box for Scotland and left it on the kitchen floor. I had to phone my daughter and she had a feast after rescuing the box.
Our brains recall the past clearly but I forget the loaf when I go for the milk.
We have some much older people in our class and they are quick to learn. One lady in her late eighties rattles the keyboard as fast as any one I ever saw.
Tea time my wifes dulcet tones are calling me "get your self in here before it gets cold" the dog barks as well so I always know when we are eating.
Enjoy your day Harold.
Regards Frank.

Dear Frank and Harold,
Lovely to read your letters. We all have much in common. The War years certainly dominated our lives don't you think? So pleased Helmsley features too.
Thank you so much Frank for informing me about my story and photo. I will look it up after writing this note. Most grateful to you.
You know, Frank -you ought to volunteer for GREETERS. You would be just the person. I'm not as strong as you - I just said YES. I hope it will prove to be a joy. I hope also that I will be able to cope with finding my way around the computer.I don't have a helper I can run to for help. My husband is not happy with it and my two sons live some miles away. I have had to teach myself - the hard way!
Well, keep going with the exchanges - Will think of you both.
Regards,
Audrey

Dear Audrey,
You have all the help in the world. Any problems you write to me and if I do not know the answer I put a note out to Peter.
He is a fund of knowledge about the idiosyncrasy's of the computer and will like Sir Galahad always help a Lady in distress.
I can also contact the Staff for help so just ask.
Penelope lovely lady that she is has asked for my services, on the site I mean! We do have this little itch between us as to what constitutes free speech and at times do not exactly see eye to eye but then that is what freedom means. The freedom to disagree with each other without falling out.
I prefer to pick up the stories that interest me and put a posting on them thus getting many people talking to me. I feel free that way having had years of discipline in the forces you cherish those freedoms.
The war years will always remain fresh in our memories Audrey as we were of an age where we soaked it all up like a sponge. Some say we lost our youth to the war, I think we had more fun than the kids today yet still grew up in a more balanced way. Yes there was fear and trauma but with the resiliance of youth we got on with our lives. I have no truck with those busy body advisers or councillors and alway ask where did they get their experience and why are they not traumatised.
We are all self taught Audrey although I do attend computer school and practice at home. They taught me how to patch the pictures onto the site in the first place then the staff came up with the easy way.
Story of my life that learn the hard way then the easy way pops up later.
Anyway Just lean on us if in doubt, you will get an answer in time.
Regards Frank.

Thanks Frank for those kind words. Will do! Love your pictures!!
All the best,
Audrey