h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I keep a blog and just posted this there.

I want to know if anyone here has any experiences in this area (jobseekers allowance or military recruitment) and maybe some insight please.

That would be very useful for me.

Clive (a little worried)

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Am I about to join the ARMY???


Well here's the thing.

A few weeks ago, I sat in the local job centre and told them I would consider moving to find work.

I recently discovered that in the language of the Jobseekers agreement, this not only implies I am willing and able to move to find work (not strictly true) but that they are then obliged to offer me work further afield.

Not privy to that nugget of insight, one job came up - administrative assistant. Where you ask? Wiltshire. Salisbury to be precise.

HQ Land Command, Eskine Barracks, Witshire to be specific.

So I dutifully fill out the application form as I am obliged to do and posted it.

Lo! I've only gone and got an interview!

I've spent the weekend arranging travel and accomodation (the interview is at 10am) so that done, decided to do some preparatory research on the army website for admin jobs in Human Resources. The only title listed was something called a Military Clerk.

Now a Military Clerk, is required to a) join the army b) undergo basic training c) serve for between 4 and 22 years.

*pause*

Is an Administrative Assitant in the Army Civilian HR service the same thing, I wonder with a rising sense of trepidation.

Luckily for me, the Army have a text-based live conversation pool with their recruiting arm, so I log on and put the question to them.

"They are the same" was the pithy reply.

Now nowhere, and I mean *nowhere* has JOINING THE ARMY been mentioned and I'm rather opposed to the idea.
Not to mention the fact I am hopelessly colourblind and (heavens be praised!!) they tend to look on that as a real disadvantage.

But now I wonder - what I am letting myself in for in attending this interview? What if I get the job? What if I refuse the job? Do I loose my benefits? If I get the job but cannot afford to move do I loose my benefits?

Joining the army *voluntarily* is something I absolutly never thought I would do. I find it a little unsettling to say the least that I may find myself in that position by default.

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Comments, thoughts, oppinions much appreciated.

I don't know much about the Army's POV, but I do know that Basic Training is a doddle. At least according to all the trainee Ruperts who I attended University with.

Jobseeking: now that I am a bit more experienced on. You can refuse the job under any reasonable pretext (not wanting to stay in the Army for 4 years would be fine) and keep your benefits. Obviously, if you accept the job, they stop.

B

Well that's a bit more reassuring.

Thanks MB.

So basic traing then - a doddle?

WIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FIZZOG YOU 'ORRIBLE LITTLE MAN! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, A RUDDY 'OLIDAY CAMP? YOU'RE IN THE ARMY NOW! SHOULDERS BACK, CHEST OUT, STOMACH IN!

WHO SAID THAT? RIGHT, IT'S JANKERS FOR THE LOT OF YOU FOLLOWED BY A WEEK OF LATRINE DUTY!

ah, yes. My worst nightmare.

Just for the record I'm allergic to being shot at, shot down, sunk, blow up, maimed, tortured, interogtated, dying in general AND being shouted at.

OK, so you're not applying to go on Big Brother this year.

AND GET YOUR 'AIR CUT

no.

YOU'RE ON A FIZZER, SOLDIER!

If I can hush up the being formerly known as Gosho, for a while...

Basic Training, as far as I remember, does not involve any of the assault course stuff that you see tough marines doing on TV. You do a bit of drillwork, a couple of nights under canvas, fire a gun and that's about it.

B

I'll be very quiet now

Well I'm still going to but I'll ask at the interview if this post requires joining the army ( the dude on the internet might be wrong after all) and IF I get it, I'll take Master B's route and politely turn em down.

The irony is I have an interview the day before at my local council so guess which one I'm praying I get!

besides which discussed it with the significant other who is *dead against* the whole idea, so I can defer to the one chain of command I can't disobey

Sorry to disappoint, MasterB, but basic training (even for Ruperts) is a little more than a few nights under canvass.

First there are the many and varied lessons on military org, military law & procedures, NBC, first aid etc etc. There is also drill and physical training (which as far as I remember did and still does include at least one assault course) which for some starts at 5am.

And that's just the basic - there is a lot more after that.

Including several nights standing in a muddy, cold hole, dressed like a tree waiting for a sergeant to kill you for transgressing some kind of rule.

*that's* more in line with what I was anticipating.

Well, I did volunteer - and I didn't actually really love the Basic Training so much that I'd care to repeat it - but I did have a lot of fun.

However, I think you can rest easy, the Army don't take people who don't want to join. Not last time I checked, anyway...

(and they do have lots of civillian clerks and so on - you should be fine)

ah. well see if it civilian I'm not so worried what put the wind up me was the online career guy saying the admin assistant was the same as a military clerk.

>> online career guy saying the admin assistant was the same as a military clerk. <<

In that case he is either leading you astray or talking out of an orrifice other than his mouth.

An admin assistant and a military clerk may well do pretty much the same job. The difference is that one wears a uniform, the other doean't. As an admin assistant working for the Army you would be a civil servant.

If they keep talking about being a military clerk, be very very carefull. Read everything you get to sign very crefully and if someone tells you to cough, run like hell.

Just to give you a little encouragement. Military clerks undergoe their basic training at a place called Deepcut Barracks which you may have heard of being in the news recently.

Donald

It all becomes clearer

I didn't think they were the same thing until I was on the Army MOD website and a) couldn't find anything listed under HR which wasn't a military clerk and b) when I asked if the admin assiatant was the same as the military clerk they said "yes".

Its quite relief to be told that there is civilian, civil service element to military, its what I'd envisioned the job to be especially since, as I said to begin with, there was no mention of joining the military on any of the documents and forms.

I'm going to be very clear in preparing for the interview what it is I am applying for and whether the admin assistant *is* a military clerk.


Deepcut? Oh joy.

If this is a military position, they are obligated to tell you up front. It's not like they can sign you up and shove you onto a bus to boot camp before you realize what you've gotten into. The fact that you've gotten this referral from a government agency means it should be civil service work, or they'd have had to tell you about it already. If it turns out differently, I imagine there are some people from The Guardian who would be delighted to learn of the army's new recruiting tactic.

That said, I ended up contacting a US Navy recruiter through this same sort of tactic. I'd been out of school for a year and failing to pay my way through college. I'd been doing temp jobs in warehouses recently, and was looking for something a bit more stable along those lines when I came across an ad in the paper for a warehouse job that promised a bit too much... wages, benefits, etc. And it wasn't a local phone number, but an 800-number. My skeptic alarm went off, but I figured I'd give them a call anyway, as I was in a nothing left to lose sort of position.

The person on the other end of the line told me about a great job in warehousing, but in order to get it, I'd have to join the navy. After a year of going nowhere in life, I was willing to entertain them as an option, but as I told the local recruiter when he received my info and contacted me, "If I'm going to join the navy, I'm sure as hell not going to work in any damned warehouse."

Six years of intensive computer training and experience later, things were looking up for me.