h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I saw a comment recently (offsite) where someone believed that being offended was sign of immaturity or lacking in character (or something like that that was considered a negative trait).

The other day I yikesed something (onsite) and said why, and in the explanation I said the post was offensive. But later when I thought about it I thought I'm not offended in the way that I would be if someone did something to me personally that was objectionable. Nor in the way that some people are about things they consider immoral.

Which has led me to thinking about what being offended is, and what being offensive is, and how there are probably variations of both of those. Mostly I'm curious as to why some people think that we should never be offended by anything. Does that mean anything goes? Or does that mean we can still have a response to something that is offensive, just not be offended by it?

Any thoughts?

I'm not sure myself. I think I'd probably just reserve the word for personal remarks that were hurful in some way. But it's still a word, that actually thinking about it I very rarely use.

As for non personal stuff. As far as I'm concerned if it's legal, it's okay. Eg, Like if it was something like some kind of illegal pornography, I'd probably call that offensive, although other words maybe better.

I think it's much better to have stuff in the open though in discussion, a lot of people seceretly think stuff but don't say it.

Also I'm all for the most wicked irony, which some people find offensive I know.

*Some racist* remarks also offend. But again I'm not sure if offend is the right word.

My mood can affect all these perceptions of course...As per usual with me.

I really don't like the word. I associate it with the likes of Mary Whitehouse.

Good question.

I usually take 'offended' to mean in the personal sense - so bad language, etc. doesn't offend me.

>>*Some racist* remarks also offend. But again I'm not sure if offend is the right word.<<

I'm also trying to think of a word for this kind of thing. Is it more accurate to say this 'offends my sensibilities' rather than 'offends me'?

It is just I guess a case of terminology.... E.G., I can't personally* be 'offended' by racist comments (I'm not black), but I still find them very 'offensive' if that makes sense

>>*Some racist* remarks also offend. But again I'm not sure if offend is the right word.<<

Yes, that's what I'm thinking too. I used the word 'offensive' to describe an awful piece of racism the other day, but I don't mean it in a Mary Whitehouse (or Patricia Bartlett if you're in NZ ) kind of way. I'm not sure it's the wrong word so much as there are different ways of understanding it.

I don't think I get offended that easily, but when I do it's serious. And of course there are different levels of offensiveness.

I think as with a lot of things - it's context. I was looking yesterday on YouTube at an old Alf Garnett clip. I found it hilarious. He used a word which is now a no no for someone of Asian origin. But in the context of the scene he was showing himself to be a bigoted idiot. That was why I liked that programme. It enabled parody to be used to show up the user of the word.

At the time, and still now, a lot of people find 'Alf Garnett' to be offensive.

>> E.G., I can't personally* be 'offended' by racist comments (I'm not black), but I still find them very 'offensive' if that makes sense<<

Oh, precisely! So what is that? I don't think it's only an intellectual thing, it still seems emotional as well, but it's different to things that I would personally affronted about. Not lesser either.

I try to avoid using the word 'offended' it is now used in place of saying that one disagrees with someone elses view. It tends to be used by religious people when there deity and it's wishes are criticised.

As Stephen Fry has said: 'It's now very common to hear people say, "I'm rather offended by that", as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. "I'm offended by that." Well, so 'ducking' what?'

From:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2005/jun/05/religion.hayfestival2005

It's a general rule amongst some of us on this site that if we 'find something offensive' or very much disagree with something we leave t up and challenge it (which is why Della's posts remained up when we could easily have yiksed most of them).

I only tend to yikes trolling behaviour.

Though what does offend me is people assuming they can censor stuff on behalf of others as if a certain group cannot speak up for themselves.

I was thinking about context also. There's a four letter word starting with C related to female anatomy. It's a great word for women to use in a reclaiming sense. And I have a male friend who uses it in a kind of throw-away-line sense, to describe people that he thinks are morons. That often makes me wince a bit (and there are some class differences there I think). But some use of that word really pisses me off because I know it's used in a really demeaning way (both of the person it's used against and the female body in general). In that situation, as well as the racism ones, political consciousness has alot to do with it.

>>
I try to avoid using the word 'offended' it is now used in place of saying that one disagrees with someone elses view. It tends to be used by religious people when there deity and it's wishes are criticised.
<<

I agree. I also think it's possible for people to be offensive about religion though, not merely be in disagreement.


>>
Though what does offend me is people assuming they can censor stuff on behalf of others as if a certain group cannot speak up for themselves.
<<

Are you referring to the discussion here by white people about racism? Or something else?

I love the c-word. I don't use it much. I would use it for someone who is an absolute down right barsteward OR majorily stupid person though the stupidity has to be quite crass or gross.

As for women reclaiming the word: meh, not into all that reclaiming stuff.

I guess the c-word is pretty much the most 'offensive' word English has at the moment. We all need something taboo and really 'strong' when 'gosh darn it' just won't suffice.

I very rarely use the C word. The equivalent for me, which I use frequently when driving, (on my own, or with certain people only in the car, with me ), is the W word.

Aside. Isn't it ridiculous that in this context of this discussion we have to be so clucking euphemistic?

Not on this site as you would be instantly yiksed by the mods.

Yes I know. That's my irritated point.

But, one as ever has to accept hard reality, or go somewhere else.

Pre filter the C word would have passed I think if starred out and if the context was something like the etymology of the word. So we might have got to use it here given we are discussing the word itself (rather than swearing with it). Want to try it out now?

c**t |k&#601;nt|
noun vulgar slang
a woman's genitals.
• offensive a woman.
ORIGIN Middle English : of Germanic origin; related to Norwegian and Swedish dialect kunta, and Middle Low German, Middle Dutch, and Danish dialect kunte.

my mac's dictionary.

What's very silly also is that I can freely say dick or prick but not k&#601

In terms of offending men, I find some who are happy to use k&#601 freely, like some I come across now and then, get terribly offended if I cast teasing aspersions on the size of their genitalia or performance in the sack...

Maybe we should make ktthingy&*%$ or whatever, a woman's name, or the name for a keyhole...? Then I suppose it would be allowed on this site?

I suppose I use the c-word fairly often, but then I've never encountered the idea of it somehow being the strongest swear-word outside of this site, so it gets used fairly interchangeably with everything else. Also, say it in a slightly northern style (so that it rhymes with spuunge) to take some of the sting out.

I think women have far more reason to get annoyed at 'pussy', seeing as it has actual derogatory meanings attached to it such as 'wimp', 'wet blanket', and 'gives reasonable thought to caution before taking action'.

I'm with 3dots and Fry: 'that's offensive', 'I feel offended by that' have a sort of narcissistic quality to them. Meanwhile 'you can't say that! ' comes attached with that baggage of proscribed things you can or cannot say, which is not really the way to do it.

Myself I can't see what's wrong with the word 'rude'. Simpler, more direct, less baggage, easier to demonstrate.