h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>>"What you really need to know is how many get abducted from inside buildings when (a) their parents are present, and (b) their parents are not present. You also need to know how often and for how long on average parents leave their children unattended."

If you're going to imagine an abductor randomly going around and trying doors on spec, the risks seem vanishingly small, since someone like that seems likely to become an object of suspicion (of at best being a sneak-thief) extraordinarily quickly, since they'd likely find that most open doors had adults behind them.

If you're going to posit an abductor lurking and observing, waiting for their chance, leaving someone for 5 minutes could be as bad as leaving them for half an hour, or for a whole evening.

It doesn't seem unreasonable to think the abduction risk may well be lower than various other risks, so the emotional baggage attached to abduction is probably best forgotten when trying to work out what the risks actually are.

Instinctively, as a mum and an ex-kid myself, I worry more about what someone said on the thread before: if a small child wakes up, in the dark, possibly in a strange place, and shouts for its mum, and nobody comes, the emotional stress doesn't bear thinking about.

>>"Instinctively, as a mum and an ex-kid myself, I worry more about what someone said on the thread before: if a small child wakes up, in the dark, possibly in a strange place, and shouts for its mum, and nobody comes, the emotional stress doesn't bear thinking about."

For you, roughly what kind of age would 'small' stop in that context?

Coming from a family of 6 kids, and a daughter of my own, and now 4 grand-kids, ... The age of paniced alone-ness could range from newborn right up to 10 very easily. All dependent on the innate nature of the child. Oh, and of course some of the 'nurture'.

Elrond, being a mum I guess "small kid" means... whatever age they are when I expire.

I certainly wouldn't like to see a law specifying time/distance/age that is acceptable (or not) to leave a child alone. More important to consider the overall picture of being a responsible parent & the capability of the child to be independent.

Personally I don't feel it's appropriate to be out of earshot of a small child for more than a few moments. Babies & toddlers often fall asleep in the car - sometimes we would leave ours in the car on the driveway by the back door rather than disturb them. Even checking every few minutes & listening closely, there were times when they woke & were cross or distressed at being left alone. I don't feel that those few occasions caused any lifelong effects, but I can well imagine the traumatic effect of waking from a bad dream in a strange place & no comforting parent responding.

With an older child who is developing independence & who has demonstrated responsibility, one might reasonably leave them for increasingly longer periods (e.g. a few mins to post a letter) provided that child is aware, happy about it & able to access help in the event of a crisis.
When my sons were 11 & 8, I had a dilemma. I had to take my older son by car (total journey time approx 20 mins max.) to catch a bus to school at a time when the younger child was usually still asleep. Was it safer to leave the boy unattended at home, or take him with me?
Although I somehow felt he was safer at home, I did always take him, on the basis that if I was held up I had no means of letting him know, or if I became disabled, no-one would know he was there alone.

Same here.

I now have to attend school parent evenings which are always important at this stage. I have to leave the Gruesomes at home alone for the 2 hours or so I'm in the next village. They go to bed just before I leave, and they have the phone, a mobile phone and they know the drill in case of fire or flood.

They know, for example, not to open the door under any circumstances (although we also have a safe-word just in case I have to send someone round) and they know to screen the phone with the answering machine and not to pick it up unless it is one of a specified list of people.

And even then, I spend the whole time out worrying...

But it is only in the last 6 months (when I had to attend parent evenings for #1 about her next school) that i have even agreed to do that much.

They also have about an hour at home after has gone to work but before I get home - with the above precautions in place - and I worry the whole time I know they are alone. But they also need this time to learn responsibility. I still hate it though.

Theoretically

If you decided to leave your kids at home while you went out for a few beers, but went back to check on them every now and again, how might you react if when you got there one of the children was awake and crying ?

Guilt ? Anger ? Fear ?

I would assume that someone who freely admitted they left their children alone in a communal building whilst they went out socialising, could expect to receive very close attention from the social services.