h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Welcom, come in sit down.

Well it's a large oblong room a low roof with a sky light in the middle, just above the kitchen table where all the mixing and potting and panning gets done, a door into the garden on the east wall and a door on the west side opening into the rest of the house. On that door is a sign in big red letters saying "Danger... children not allowed" just under that someone has scrawled in light blue crayon "Children can't read dad".
At the south end is the twin sink with twin drainers to match. with fly handle taps. The walls around this end of the room are wood ( you know the sort) like in a sauna. The cabinets are filled with tons of baking mixes, syrup, ketchup and things that are on sale you know you will need one day soon? In the others are biscuits and crisps and snack like, things. to tempt most soles. and the kids favourite breakfast cereals ( which thay eat any time) O and the "junk drawer". Well what can I say if it ant anywhere else it's there.. 

On the west walls is a working Christmas Calendar and on the East wall is a World Time Clock A ton of spices, But to be honest, I cannot remember the last time I used some, but they sit comfortably shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the spices. On the shelves are 'Cooking Journal Jars all lined up like soldiers on parade, filled with things like pickled onions and cabbage, gherkins and cauliflower, eggs and fruit preserves.. The bread bin is full of home made brown and cottage loaves and a fridge full of fillings and drinks and other things to tempt a sole. 
At the north end, a set of second hand pub seats ( you know the sort) that fixes to the wall under the bay windows, lots of dried flowers and spices hanging from the curtain rails and a few potted plants on the window ledge, just in behind the stolen wooden pub table (you know the type), taken out side in the summer and got lost at my house), and four high backed wooden chairs... . And the walls at this end are papered with that silly red flock paper (pubish like). It's warm and friendly, where people could come and relax and have tea in the afternoon. or dig up some long lost recipes for breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinners .

*wanders through the new door in Dent's place*

Oh

Hmm. Where to start. Well, I've been thinking of making some lemon curd.

*had a nosey through cupboards and fridge to find all the neccessary. Turns on the oven for sterilizations of the jars she's found. Washes hands - oh the joy of decent sinks! Puts on a handy pinny and sets to work*

Hmm...radio two would go down quite well right now.....

Hi'ya The radio is on top of the freezer http://www.radio-locator.com/ evil scientist in training http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/ there you go.
Thank's for calling by. not at work to day ..? I'm on duty at 13:00 but I'll leave the back door key under the plant pot in the summer house. It's a bit quiet around h2g2 today...

Thanks muchly Dent.

Nope, still playng the sick card after yesterdays attempt to go to work.

*puts on a pot of Lentil soup, for it is cold outside and soup is heart-warming*

Zantic

Puts on the the coffee maker and gets a mug from the dish washer. pulls out a big bag of paper work, for sorting, and sites at the pub table and thinks " Mmmmm I smell Lentil soup, just fancy chicken soup and toast. walks over to the cooker and look thought the oven window, Mmmm Zatic making some lemon curd to, better not leave that around or it will go missing Wonder what the recipe is . fills the mug with coffee and escort it back to the table to start sorting out the paperwork..

Arr that story for Thomas at bed time.!

he sat and read it just to check it suitable

The Dragon In The Forest

Zlartinpole was a dragon who lived in the forest near the land of Slodinbob.
Everyone in Slodinbob was afraid of Zlartinpole. They were afraid of his big green scales, of his long spiky tail, and they were especially afraid of the fire he breathed out of his two round nostrils. The fire came out in three colors -- RED, PURPLE, and BLUE -- .....and it was very hot! Now in reality, Zlartinpole only breathed fire when he got scared or sneezed, but everyone thought he did it to try and burn Slodinbob to a crisp. As a matter of fact, everyone was so scared of Zlartinpole that one evening, a group of townspeople got together and went to see the King and Queen of Slodinbob. They wanted to demand that something be done to rid the land of the dreaded dragon. King Mercer was a kind man, and he and his wife, Queen Melinda agreed to meet with them.
The leader of the group, a young man named Harold, spoke first. "Great King Mercer, we are afraid for our lives! That horrible dragon lurks near our homes, and threatens to burn them all down!" Priscilla, the pleasant woman who ran the food market, spoke next. "Everything we have worked our whole lives for could be destroyed in an instant if that horrible dragon continues to live here!", she said worriedly. Everyone in the group shouted in agreement. "Yes!" they all shouted at once. "We must rid Slodinbob of the dragon!" King Mercer spoke slowly in his deep, rumbling voice. "I understand that you are all afraid of the dragon. Queen Melinda and I shall discuss what should be done. We will invite you all back to a meeting once we make our decision." Queen Melinda, dressed in her glistening jewels and elegant robes nodded in agreement with her husband. "We will not keep you waiting for long, because we too are worried about what damage this horrible dragon might cause." The townspeople seemed satisfied, and went on their way. Once they left the castle, Queen Melinda turned to King Mercer and asked, "Have you seen Princess Marigold this afternoon? I have not seen her since lunchtime, and I am beginning to get rather worried." "No," said the king, "and I am very worried about her as well." Princess Marigold was the only child of King Mercer and Queen Melinda. They loved her dearly, but also worried about her constantly because she was always running off and getting lost in the forest. This time, young Marigold was romping through the forest near Slodinbob. She ran and leapt. She frolicked and pranced, her long, amber hair swaying with every move. Princess Marigold was having so much fun she did not realize how late it was. "Oh dear," she said to herself, "I must get back to the castle. Mother and Father must be getting very worried about me." She looked around and realized it was too dark to find her way back. Frightened, Princess Marigold put her head in her hands and started to cry. "Pardon me" someone with a very gruff voice asked. "Are you lost? Do you need help?" Princess Marigold looked up to find herself staring face to face with Zlartinpole the dragon, who had bent his long neck down to face her. When Marigold realized she was looking at a dragon, she jumped and let out a loud scream! Turning to quickly run away, the Princess Marigold accidentally tripped and fell backwards, landing right smack in the fold of Zlartinpole's right wing, which gently scooped her up as she fell, carefully settling her on top of his back. "I hope my scales are not too rough for you," Zlartinpole the Dragon apologized. "But it is much too late for you to be out all alone. Strangers could be about, you know. I'll see you home safely. No one will trouble a Princess under the care of a dragon." Princess Marigold was still a bit afraid of this fire-breathing dragon whom everyone said was going to be a big problem for the land of Slodinbob. "Are you the dragon that is going to burn everyone's homes down?" she asked in a very frightened little voice. "Goodness gracious me!" exclaimed a startled Zlartinpole, "What a thought!". "Absolutely not," he replied firmly. "I would never try to hurt anyone or anything." "Then why is everyone so afraid of you?" Princess Marigold inquired curiously. "They just don't know me very well, and one should never try to judge a book by its cover. Now then, no more questions -- we'd best get you home." With that, Zlartinpole flew into the air with Princess Marigold's arms wrapped tightly around his neck. "Wheee!", Princess Marigold squealed with delight. "This is so much fun!"
Shortly afterwards, Zlartinpole and Princess Marigold landed in front of the great castle. When the two knights guarding the castle gate saw the dragon, they quickly drew their swords. Princess Marigold was afraid that the men would try and hurt Zlartinpole. Instead, the knights dropped their weapons, and ran inside."I wish everyone wouldn't be so afraid of you," Princess Marigold began. "I'm going to go to my parents and tell them what a wonderful, kind dragon you are." Zlartinpole wiped away the big sad tear drop that fell onto his protruding nose. "Thank you so much", he said sincerely. "I hope that when the King and Queen find out I helped you, that they will tell the people of Slodinbob that there is no reason to be afraid of me." Princess Marigold waved good-bye as Zlartinpole flapped his gigantic wings and flew back to his home in the forest. As soon as he was out of sight, Princess Marigold ran to find her parents in the castle. When she found them, they were sitting on their golden thrones looking very angry. "Young lady," her father started, his voice bellowing with anger, "just what did you think you were doing, accepting a ride from a dangerous dragon?" "He's not dangerous. He helped me, because I was lost, and....... " the princess began. "That's enough Marigold!" Queen Melinda interrupted in a stern voice. "These courageous knights told us that the dragon was about to attack the castle! They told us that the dragon was holding you captive and they had to hurry before it did something terrible to you! They said they had to hurry to alert the other knights because they had no chance of fighting such a large and violent beast on their own!" Princess Marigold looked very shocked. "But he wasn't holding me captive", she tried to explain. "I didn't know where I was and he....." "Silence!" her father yelled loudly, interrupting her. "You will no longer go wandering about wherever and whenever you please. Go to your room immediately." At that very moment one of the royal knights ran into the room. "Your Majesties," he said as he bowed to both the King and Queen, "the beast is gone. But we will find where he is hiding. Once we do, Slodinbob will no longer be terrorized." "Go to the forest at once!" King Mercer commanded in a louder voice than usual. "Comb through every tree, every hill, every valley. Find the dragon, and bring back the beast's head!" Princess Marigold was on her way to her room when she heard her father's command. "I must go to the forest and warn Zlartinpole, before Father's knights find him," she said to herself. She quietly sneaked out of a secret exit behind the stairway that led upstairs to her room. She ran as fast as she could, past the town hall, past the marketplace, past the schoolhouse. When trees and green surrounded Princess Marigold, she knew she had found the forest. But where was Zlartinpole? She looked up at the tops of the tall trees, but saw nothing but leaves. Was he behind a large rock? Perhaps he was at the bank of the stream, having a sip of water. Suddenly, she heard a loud roar and the air was filled with smoke. Turning around, she saw Zlartinpole, looking very embarrassed, as came out from behind a berry bush. "I'm sorry if I frightened you, Princess Marigold," he said. "But I was smelling some beautiful flowers, and I'm afraid they made me sneeze." Princess Marigold wrapped her arms as far around Zlartinpole as they would stretch. "I am so glad to see you," she said. "But I came here to warn you -- my father's knights are after you, and they want to bring back your head. My parents just wouldn't listen to me! I tried to explain . . ." Her voice became a trail of sobs. Zlartinpole put one wing around Princess Marigold, and drew her close to his side. "It's not your fault," he said as he tried to comfort her. Just then one of the king's men appeared out of the darkness, holding a bright torch. "Princess Marigold! Princess Marigold!" he yelled in his loudest voice. "Get away from that monstrous beast!" "He's not...... he's not...... " the princess sobbed, before Zlartinpole gently pushed her away.
"Run home quickly Princess Marigold! It is not safe for you here," he said. Princess Marigold stole a quick, sad glance back at him, and then began running just as fast as she could back home to the castle. King Mercer's knights slowly approached, one by one, until twenty of them surrounded Zlartinpole with their swords drawn. "You will not get away this time!" one of them growled. "Don't try to escape!" bellowed another."You will no longer terrorize the land of Slodinbob!" yelled a third.Zlartinpole saw what a difficult situation he was in, and began to get very scared. He got so scared, in fact, that all of a sudden from out of his nostrils came a loud:"BOOM!"
and a cloud of smoke rose from where his flames hit the ground. The knights first scattered, and then they all charged towards poor Zlartinpole!. "CRACKLE! HISS!" went the flames as they hit the shield of one of the knights, promptly melting it into a silvery puddle.
The guards kept charging, and Zlartinpole kept breathing fire, trying his very best not to hurt anybody. This went on for quite some time, until all of a sudden, interrupting this ruckus came a loud shout of "HALT!" The guards instantly recognized this voice, and stopped in their tracks. There stood King Mercer, with Queen Melinda and Princess Marigold by his side. "I am so glad my prize horses got us here in time," King Mercer said, pointing towards the three golden steeds. "My darling Princess Marigold just told her mother and me exactly what happened to her today, how this dragon named Zlaten, ummm . . . Zlarted, ummm . . . " "Zlartinpole," Princess Marigold whispered in her father's ear. "How this dragon named Zlartinpole," the King continued, "rescued her from being lost in the woods. It was our terrible, terrible mistake to believe that this creature intends to harm Slodinbob. Men, please put your weapons away and return to the castle." The guards, as always, did exactly as the King commanded. "As for you, Zlartinpole," began Queen Melinda, "we owe you our deepest apologies. We should have listened to Princess Marigold when she tried to explain earlier, and we should never have assumed you were so dangerous just because you are a dragon." Zlartinpole's big green eyes filled with tears of gratitude, and the Princess Marigold gave her friend the dragon a big hug . "Come back to the castle with us, Zlartinpole," King Mercer offered. "You can be our official guard dragon." "Thank you so much for your generous offer, Sire," Zlartinpole said, "but I must decline. The forest is my home. It is where I feel safe and happy. I don't want to live anywhere else." Princess Marigold looked especially disappointed. "Will I ever see you again?" she asked. "Please don't look so sad," he replied. "I promise that you will always be able to find me here." By now, it was very late, and Princess Marigold, King Mercer, and Queen Melinda were very tired and had to go home to their castle. They all bade farewell to their new friend Zlartinpole, and promised to visit him in the forest very soon.
Zlartinpole waved goodbye to his friends then leapt into the air, flying higher than the tops of the tallest trees, and right into the clouds.

The End
That will do.

A bit of radio I think.. walking over to the freezer and tuned the radio to www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/listings/, Just to see what was on

ooooo what a nice place seem to have most things here exept my very own home made sossage rools.
so i brought a batch in for you and some nice cakes too

I hope i deserve one of your finest @s for my effort

Hi ya Midnight ..
how's things on this day, for you..

Ooo sausage roles,, Ooo cakes too, yes, thank you ...just put them in the freezer for later. Yes please feel free ,but for you Midnight I keep the best coffee blend. next to the Earlgrey tea.

How's your net connection then..?

your girl was over this morning making things, hope it ok in the cooker over their.

I'm on three-is, just a quick tea and toast and back to work, I finish at 18:00 and am working phone support till 00:00 at home, nice work when I can get i..

Hi dent im in agont today been for physio so now i pay for it dont seem to make sence does it
Your welcome for the sossage rolls and cakes i will do another fresh bash later in the week


i hope she wass not miss behaveing

My net conection is fine its just that other problem i explained but will email you the details later

OOO you save the best coffee for me i am honoured

I am snowed down trying to get through my posts and getting no where fast, i have got pages to get through. its tireing work trying to get through them all.

sounds like another bust day for you again then?

Dent- I couldn't find the key. Glad you are in though. That soup should be about ready. And the jars should be sterilized for the lemon curd.

*potters about setting eveything to rights, leaving jars to cool and taking lemon curd out of the fridge. Dished up some soup for herself, leaving bowls and spoons out for the others*

Zantic

just got home..

Hummm it smells nice in here tonight, O well put away the bowl and spoon till breakfast, closes the door and the curtains, turn off the lights and . Ooo just have one of midnights sausage rolls to have with a cup of tea. Muuuu. It's been a strange night I was run off my feet until 19:30 and then it went dead. I see ARP traffic stopped for an hour or two.

Blueyonder subscribers were left without access to email and personal Web pages on Tuesday evening, after a fault hit the Telewest network.

Hundreds of reports are coming in of a new Trojan spreading around the globe by posing as home made pornographic pictures.The email arrives with the subject line 'Re[2] Mary' and starts: "Hello my dear Mary, a Trojan called Sysbug copies a file called sysdeb32.exe to the hard drive and alters the registry settings to ensure that it is activated on start-up.

Sleep and be well, Midnight Angel. Good night, evil scientist .

Dont get Laughing you two but ive lost that other thread we have all been in now i know you have both left me lovely long messages to reply to so please dont find me rude. im not ignoring you.
can someone help find them

A dent hope you enjoyed my sossage rools
Goodnight to you too sleep well

Hi-ya Midnight I see your working hard again,

Go to my friends list.
Find...
Chief_O’Brien Branded Leader of the Engineers Revolutionary Services or "COBBLERS "

Dents Front Potrch (Jeff)on the left..

yep of course i am<biggrin.

Now why didnt i think of that instead of working my self up

I'd worked out summat was going on when my e-mail couldn't connect. I went to check the web-page and it couldn't be found. So I turned ooff the computer and watched Babylon 5 instead.

Thanks fo the info on the new viruse Dent. I shall keep and eye out on it. Nice to have an insider onthe job. Of course, tht sort of thing only goes to my hotmail account spam folder and get deleted straight away anyhow.

So, what do folks want for lunch, seeing as I'm at home again today.

Zantic

Halloooooooo Midnight and my favourite Evil Scientist in training

And how are you on this bright and sunny Wednesday morning, with the smell of autumn in the air, not forgetting the aviation fuel.
A naughty little day....! yep defiantly a day for a little naughtiness again.

What to have for breakfast decisions, decisions, decisions, Mmmmmmmm breakfast what to have for breakfast. Hawaii breakfast omelette I think...Not hade one for ages.
lets see, I need

Butter or Cooking oil
Dill to taste or Salt and pepper to taste "but not both"
3 bullied, eggs
Diced Sweet red pepper to taste
1 Tablespoon honey
1 diced or sliced mango to taste
1 Green or white salad 
Sauté the sweet red pepper with butter or cooking oil, in a regular frying pan, 
Day o,
Season with dill, or salt and pepper and put in a cup. 
Day-ay-ay-o.
pour the eggs in to a hot regular frying pan and then the Sauté sweet red pepper on one side ,  
Say daylight come an' me wanna go home.
"Wash-up". 
Hey Mr. Tallyman, come tally me banana.
When cooked throw in the dices mango on same side of the eggs and fold the omelette in half, covering the Sweet red pepper and mango. place under the salamander grill till brown. 
Say, daylight come an' me wanna go home.
Serve to plate, spoon the honey over the omelette and add one green or white side salad .
All you people come an' play on the piano.
Daylight come an' me wanna go home.
 chase down with ..
"Wash-up".


Ou. Ou Babylon 5.You said, when, where, what side, what time, Is it on again

Wanders in ...looks for the kettle, English Breakfast tea, milk and sugar. Now what does he do with his tea mugs? and is there any of that yummy left?

Ooh, that feels so much better

Maz

Hello All
that sounded good A Dent was it nice?
will you cook me some now?
Its been raining here today but still managed to go in to town xmas shopping.
Got the rest of my sons pressies now and most of everyone elses just about 5 to get now i think.. She says hopeing. bound to be someone i forgot that i will remember the last minaute.
Any way hows your day been? Did you manage to catch up on some sleep?
well will speak later take care


Maz there is loads of i made a good batch yesterday