h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, a bus ticket...with a phone number on it

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrresult!!!!!

So, whose phone number is it? Eh? Eh?

Lost Property

T-minus 2 hours and 14 minutes until I find out whether my ticket will be worth all these stupid fantasies I keep having

I have a golden bank card!

Well, it's more of a golden Credit Union card.

And it's actually a calendar.

You didn't call the number?

Of course not, it's not that I have to call the number...it's that it may lead me somewhere over the rainbow

I've nearly £200 of train tickets since Xmas I haven't, though, despite what some people may not have said over meals or in underpasses or in doorways of disused shops in moonlight covered high streets, ever owned a small black or red biro for more than two months before having to buy a new one when the origional mysteriously disappears, and never have I got shoes from the shoeman. Not even those clown shoes, and I wasn't even tempted. and I had absolutely nothing to do with the riot a few years back, I didn't even know there was one and I wasn't even there.

Oh, I just found a hole in my pocket, belong to anyone?

It's not mine... but I DID lose a button hole.

T-minus 1 hour and 13 minutes

*checks watch* Well? Well?

The tram was packed and I couldn't get to give the bloke the number for lost property

I'm so far behind, what are we talking about here?

Nothing in particular, a couple of bags of wheat probably

I was on tram t'other week when a bloke found a brown envelope with about 50squid in it (the none leaky variety) So he handed it in ery kindly and the conductor said to ring lost property-if it hadn't been claimed he could have it

So after he got off conductor gave me the number because she thought i was with him(I'd smiled at him and told him he was lucky when she said he might be able to keep it)Anyway, I was gonna ive the number to blokey and envisaged him whisking me away to a desert island with his 50 squidOr at least saying "oh, how kind of you"

But I've not seen him and have lost the number

Oooops!

I see...

*Lost property announcement*
We have found £50 in unmarked notes. Would the owner please form an orderly queue at the front entrance.

<s to front of queue>