h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Whilst suggestively playing with food,
I suddenly found myself in the mood,
(if this is meant as line 3) I thought my smoked sausage looked good
As it damn well should,
And felt I should be in the nude

NEW:

St. Peter eats only bologna,

Ah, Krissy, I thought I could rely on you to turn up!

St. Peter eats only bologna,
A sausage he's not even fonda,

Hmm, dodgy use of a shortened "fond of", but if you will go around using words like bologna...

LOL...I pronounce it like this:

St. Peter eats only bologna,
and makes people think he's a phony,

(that kind of thing)

Of course, I picked a word that's probably different in American than it is in British. Trust me....

Hmm, I'm no expert on pronounciation but that doesn't sound very Italian...

Could you just pick a different sausage like, oh I don't know, say "knockwurst" and we'll start again?

Hello again everyone!

Line 3: So now it breaks his heart,
Line 4: When it causes him to fart,
Line 5 (for 'fonda'): Especially in his new Honda.
Line 5 (for 'phony'): But I've never read such bacony.


==================================================================
New start (this time sausageless (possibly)):

If trying to write a limerick,

If trying to write a limerick,
Try to pick an easily rhymable first line.

Strangly, while writing
A limerick on the Web
I could find no rhymes.

------

I apologize for the haiku.

There once was a limerick by me,
Which didn't rhyme at all.
It didn't have those two short lines in the middle
That are supposed to be shorter than the others,
Or any scansion at all.
Oh, and it also had one line too many.

There once was a man from Moosejaw,
Whose limericks stopped at line four.
When asked why this was,
He replied "It's because...

This other man lived by the sea;
His limericks stopped at line three.
This might make you wonder, but...

A third man still lives in Peru;
His limericks stop at line two.

There once was a man from Verdun...

*laughing* Fantastically clever and all, but:

I once made a new friend named Mary,

Her face was all bulbous and scary.

I once made a new friend called Mary,
Her face was all bulbous and scary,
Her eyes were red,

She'd no hairs on her head,

so, perversely, I nicknamed her "Hairy".

Peet! You gotta start a new one when you finish one!



There once was a man by the sea,

There once was a man by the sea,
Who would do most things, for a fee,

Take out a boat


;^)#

He would clean all your fish,

or row out a goat,

For free