h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Gardeners at the Houses of Parliament in London have been photographed removing all the leaves by hand from the trees. This provoked a predictable media and social media storm.

In its article "Westminster cancels autumn", the Daily Telegraph writes:

"For most of Friday, Annabel Honeybun, a gardener contracted by the Palace of Westminster, was cutting back the leaf stalks from the lime trees in New Palace Yard below Big Ben.

For several hours Miss Honeybun climbed a step ladder under the tree and removed the golden coloured leaves, throwing them to the floor.

The leaf-stripping was carried out in full few of members of the public outside the gates guarding the entrance to New Palace Yard, and a few yards from Parliament Square"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/11231070/Westminster-cancels-autumn-Worker-seen-pulling-leaves-from-the-trees.html


Assuming it's a waste of money, the newspaper asks a member of a taxpayer's pressure group to say so. The tree-preservation charity The Woodland Trust also comments that it's a shame we can't see the colour on the trees, and have the pleasure of kicking through the leaves on the ground. (Do MP's do that sort of thing? I'm not sure)

The gardeners claim this defoliation by hand is more cost-effective than raking up the leaves afterwards. They also go on to moan about how they'd really like to be paid to 'pleach' the trees (training them ornamentally) although this doesn't appear to be relevant.

* * *

One thing they all missed is that there's a simple reason why the gardeners are doing this. It was described in the book 'Alice in Wonderland', in a scene where Alice discovers the Queen's playing cards painting her rose bushes red. Here's the Disney representation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfmAzoILaK8


(Alice):
"Well pardon me,
but Mr Three,
Why must you paint them red?"

(Three of Clubs):
"The Queen she likes them red
As she so rightly said,
She'd raise a fuss
And each of us
Would quickly lose his head.
Since this is the part we dread,
We're painting the roses red."


So now we know

Hmmm, the Hoses of Parliament are not so much Alice in Wonderland, more like Cloud Cuckoo Land.

I think the gardener said she was 'mini-pruning' ie taking tiny shoots off the pollarded trees. Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not only a pedant, but a horticultural pedant at that.




Extra good photo though, it really did look like Alice in Wonderland.

Er, didn't those tiny shoots she was pruning have large golden leaves attached?

I can't decide which is worse: the gardeners' bosses ordering them to do this, or the media for raising a stink about it.

It's a tie, from what I can see. If those trees had been in the forest and had lost their leaves naturally, would their falling have caused a sound?

[Amy P]

I am just happy to have been introduced to a gardener called Miss Honeybun. There must be a short shorts story in that.

I look forward to reading that story.