h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And so NaJoPoMo is well under way - h2g2's journal posting month.

It's a growing trend to encourage people to better themselves by issuing month-long challenges. Also in November we have 'Movember' - men grow a moustache to support prostate cancer charities. Last month was 'Stoptober', in which the UK National Health Service invited us to stop smoking.

But why stop there? We could fill the calendar with these things. I give you:

Granuary - Visit an elderly relative
Plebuary - Cycle to work*
Parch - Abstain from alcohol
Shape-ril - Lose weight
Pay - Cough up to your favourite charity
Prune - Eat your 5-a-day
Brew-ly - Support your local pub
Dawg-ust - Take your pet pooch for obedience training
Steptember - Take up aerobics
Stoptober - see above
Movember - see above
Peacember - Love thine enemy

I claim no copyright on the above. The sooner these are adopted, the sooner we all grow tired of the whole thing. Fill your boots.

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* a reference to UK Tory MP Andrew Mitchell, who allegedly referred to a police officer at the House of Commons as a (expletive deleted) 'pleb' after he refused to let him take his bicycle through the main gate http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plebgate

Ministry of propaganda and nice gestures would be proud. Do we get a week off in the summer from all this doogooding?

Inspirational stuff. And for alternative life style people we can offer:

Spamuary - Flood your friends with bad jokes, stupid videos, and pictures of cute dogs dressed as humans.

Flabuary - Take up the 2legs butter-yourself-to death diet

Marx - paint on a silly moustache and join a club that will accept you as a member.

Appal - Give in to those creative fashion ideas your partner normally saves you from.

Mayhem - Pick the local office of a political party and constantly annoy them for thirty one days.

Consume - leave all devices on standby overnight, turn up the heating by five degrees and leave the windows open.

Justlie - Stand for elected office.

Disgust - get out that old mac that has been hanging in the wardrobe you inherited from your grandad thirty years ago, and visit your local park.

Dismember - Get a very sharp knife and let your imagination run free. Warning, best not to try this at home.

Ectober - Kill yourself and proceed to haunt people you really hate.

Noregretber - Spend a month convincing yourself that your previous month's suicide was a really good idea.

Dicemember - If when you rolled them you got double six then you probably picked the right belief system and are perfectly placed for a great celebration. Or you didn't perhaps you should have taken a break in Ectober.

reddit

Deb

I thought every* month was 'support your local pub month' ...

Mine's usually 'support your local wine retailer'

I'm with mags- have you seen the prices they charge for a large Pinot Grigio down the pub?

Good ideas.

I got a worried panicing phone-call from Mr Patel, the owner of the local shop to my Father's house, when when FAther and Mother went on holiday.... Clearly they'd not warned Mr Patel, and he had major stock-room problems.... so many un-purchased bottles of wine, and vodka building up so he couldn't take in any more stock... Luckily normality return to his stock-room organisations, once parents returned back from their hols and emptied the shop of excess overstocked wine and vodka

[Amy P]

Funny you should mention Movember, cos this link just came up yesterday on FB:
http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2013/09/national-beard-mustache-championships/