h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What a strange night. Tuesdays are normaly a quiet studenty sorta night, nothing strange happens, that normaly happens at the weekend. First strange thing, soon as we had closed the doormen carried one of our female barstaff into the Vip room unconcious. She wasn't coherent, couldn't wake her. Then another lass comes up to me and asks if the lass is ok, told her yeh was just really pissed. So this lass sezs, right, I'm pc139 **** station and I want to know who you are..


A bit stunned by the revelation that this drunk but highly attractive female was barking strange orders at me I laughed. So what does she do? She does some restraining move on me, pushes me against the wall and starts snogging me and groping me...

As I was sober and she wasnt combined with the fact that my manager was stood behind her looking at me in total disbelief I released my self from her grip.

She was not impressed, in the end I had to dissapear whilst the doormen tried getting her out of the club..



WTF???

Um...


That just does not happen. Ever.


Then it turns out this unconcious bar lass had no money or id, we didnt have her address, so, muggings here had to take her to one of the other bar lasses houses so she could sleep on the sofa.. As i got her out of the car in her deep 'sleep' she starts screaming and biting me and shouting F*CK OFF at the top of her voice at 3:30am...


I got lovely bite marks on my hands.


What a silly morning, I'm off to bed, that was just too strange.

Hiya Jarve,

i knew this was from you before i saw it lol

right 1st things 1st..pc whats her name, are you absolutely sure this really happened and wasnt a fantasy? lol perhaps she was an off duty copper and thought eye eye hes a bit of alright, new cop chat up technique? or maybe she'd had a few , was in actual fact a a stripogram but grabbed the wrong 'client' by mistake? lmao the fact that your Manager was stood behind her, (dont know what your Managers humour is like though), could back up the stripogram theory, its not your birthday is it?

secondly you said at 1st 'female barstaff' then you said 'bar lass', its obvious what barstaff means in which case surely your Manager would have her name and address/contact number, i would expect her to have a lot of questions to answer to him tomorrow for getting in that state while working..but bar lass could just mean erm someone propping up the bar? like a 'barfly'? lol

she bit you? lol is she a ? lol you ok? i hope there wasnt any curtain twitchers around or that incident would of been completely misread and you would not of come out of it as the gent you are trying to see she gets herself somewhere safe for the night, or as you put it 'muggings' having to cart her off to her colleagues house

somedays you just wish you hadnt bothered getting out of bed!
look after yourself!

Yes I can confirm the thing's that happened last night no matter how strange were as they seemed to be. The bar-lass Cindy to who has worked at my place (typed in the club then by mistake :p oops!) for6 months only has her contact number with us. I have full access to staffs records but believe me, a nightlcub aint like a normal place of work. We dont even know dates of birth etc, we have mobile numbers that is just about it, I take it you never worked in a dodgy place b 4

She is barred from our place now for 2 months when she isn't working, I can only guess at what she had had!!!

As for the molesting public servant, true she was a tad too attractive to be a policewoman, who knows, if I saw her on the beat I would definalty be beating it.


LOL

Oh gawd how crude!


Who knows, I'll find out more tonight, only got one set of chomper marks on my hand, she didnt bite down hard enough on my arms luckily :D


If every night was like that, I'de insure myself to the hilt!

Now you see why I don't work in a n office

Jarve,

nope never worked anywhere that didnt want to know my name, address, d.o.b and what i had for breakfast! lol

she's lucky her reaction to whatever she had wasnt any worse

too attractive for a public servant? pmsl hmmm you saying old bill all are filth? lol

if i was you id insure myself anyway working in that environment