h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Two hours to go and the bathroom isn't done yet. I have verified that we will not, in fact, have to hide the cat in my room, they've been briefed. Not about the mice, but they're at least aware of the existence of the cat. Oh, and the person sleeping on our couch is still asleep on the couch. We would much rather offer the couch as a place for the parentals to sit rather than display our unique guest hosting ability. Any ideas?

If you want me to move, I'll go and sleep in the fridge for a bit if you like I think I've drunk a little too much orange juice.

it is best to approach slowly and quietly from a safe distance, making soft cooing sounds so as not to scare the beast away. Do not make any swift movements, as the creature may become agitated and attack. Also, do not come between the guest and the television at any time, as it may defend the t.v. with the ferocity of a mother bear for its cubs. Hand some sort of peace offering such as food to the guest and politely ask it to come with you. Maneuver it towards an outside door, and quickly shove it through, slamming the door shut and locking it. After a considerable time has passed, the beast should move on to it's nearest friend's place.

samurai perkins

ack!! "its" I mean...

illiterate sam

Sam: You're not alone, I've posted a few grammatical (in fact, er, did I spell that right? Oh, the humanity!) mishaps and found myself wishing for the good old edit button.
An excellent tactic you suggested, I'll mind the bit about the TV next time (ow).

Ant: Of course I didn't mean you, darling! You are a most considerate guest, and welcome to stay whenever the taxis annoy you out of your place!

LOLOLOL at samurai on how to deal with the wild houseguest. I could have used that advice (especially the slamming the door shut once you have shoved them thru it) so many times.

Kate, what or whom are these guests of which you speak.

c!!! how I've missed you! how's life?

Old guest: I have an ex-boyfriend who thinks that he lives on my couch. New guests: the parents of my roommate. Samurai's advice comes just in time (in terms of the ex-boyfriend, anyway), as my living situation was beginning to sound like a bad pitch for an American sitcom...

Never mind! I see it's the roommate's parents who are visiting. (or did visit?)

hi Kate! I'm so sorry I've been busy with RL (is that the accepted abbrev for real life?) I promise to be around more soon, as I have missed you a great deal too. I was sneaking in here for a fix and have to run, but I do have to stop and say Hi!

Hi! Miss you!

*runs off dropping things everywhere*

Samurai, you should really turn that post into a guide entry. *Creeping out of the fridge, as it's six in the morning in Kate's part of the world*