h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My advice for life (a la "Wear sunscreen") is:
1. Drink lots of water.
2. Vote libertarian.
3. Carry a knife.
Maybe that last one should be first, since I hardly get out of bed before I've got a knife somewhere on my person. There are tons of different knives out there, but most of mine are pretty inexpensive (but none are "cheap"!). REAL Swiss Army knives are great for their utility (can opener AND bottle opener? Bring on the party!) and convenient size, not to mention affordability! (Two thumbs up! But for the lack of more thumbs would I give greater praise!) I generally have two Swiss Army knives on me, a Soldier's model with Alox handles and main blade, can opener/small screwdriver, bottle opener/large screwdriver, and leather awl; and the other is a Esquire, by Wenger, which is smaller and has a small blade, nail file, scissors, toothpick and tweezers. The Soldier doesn't have the toothpick and tweezers, nor does it have a corkscrew, those things were reserved for the officers and their knives!
I could tell you about the other knives I'm likely to carry, but then I'd have to kill you!
If I could give some advice about knives (this means you, "Rosie") don't try to save money by buying some Chink knock-off! It'll break, if not the first time you use it, then the second or third time, if it doesn't fold back on you and cut you badly! Just buy a REAL Swiss Army knife, there are two brands, both authorized manufacturers for the Swiss Army, the first is Victorinox, the other is Wenger. They make several inexpensive models, most under $20, some only $10! If you think you want a Swiss Army knife for trying to stab someone, I suggest finding a army surplus store and searching for a Swiss Bayonet! (Most seem to be going for about $25 right now.)However, carrying a bayonet (or an excessively long knife) may be illegal in your jurisdiction, so check you local and state laws first.

I think I'll expand on the other items in my "advice for life" list...

"Drink lots of water" is good advice, despite a recent news report warning against the dangers of "over-hydration". :-p I heard Dr. B (his real name Batmanghelidj, but everyone just calls him "Dr. B") on the Art Bell show discussing how he discovered the cronic dehydration afflicting nearly everyone and the diseases this can lead to, and how he treated these diseases with simple, proper hydration. You can see for yourself at his website http://www.watercure.com/ and in his book Your Body's Many Cries for Water. In 1979, he was imprisoned during the Iranian Revolution for being Western educated. While there he was given the duties of treating other prisoners, but he had no medicine. During his time there, he discovered he could treat many different diseases with water! Simple proper hydration! From his website:

" I have seen water completely reverse conditions such as: Asthma. Angina. Hypertension. Migraine headaches. Arthritis pain. Back pain. Colitis pain and chronic constipation. Heartburn and hiatal hernia. Depression. Chronic fatigue syndrome. High cholesterol. Morning sickness. Overweight problems. Even heart problems needing bypass surgery."

He was so thrilled with the positive results he was seeing with his treatments, that when he was released from prison, he asked to stay to finish his research, which took another four months!

Simply, diseases are the manifestations of extended cellular dehydration, where the cells cannot properly maintain themselves, and the cells break down. The Human body is 90 percent water, the brain is 85 percent, so obviously water is important to your body's daily function. I can't say much more on that...


"Vote libertarian" isn't as obvious, until you realize how much the government (henceforth "the govt") is involved in your daily life, even if you think it isn't. A simple online test http://www.self-gov.org/wspq.html will reveal your own political attitudes, confirming or refuting what you think your political affiliations are. The main gist of libertarianism that YOU are in charge of your life, with minimal govt interference. If you want to smoke or drink things that our current govt deems illicit or illegal, you would be free to do so, provided you don't later harm someone else through reckless or intentional behavior. Same with owning guns, running a business, and extending all the way to international relations. With a libertarian-based govt, we would not get intangled in foreign alliances or conflicts, that drag us into wars that we have no business.
Through voting libertarian, you can cast a vote and not "throw it away" voting for one candidate or against another, since there are many more than just Republican and Democrat. (Aside: If you watch them long enough, you might notice that R and D are just two sides of the same coin: both want your money to spend on "their" projects and interests.) The govt's job is limited to (1) protect us from invasion, (2)coin and print a standard money, ands (3) make sure the mail gets from here to there in a reasonable time at a reasonable cost. (Look it up! It's all there in the Constitution! NO making you safe from stinky neighbors with loud kids, NO right to have a big screen TV if you're too lazy to work for it, NO right to sue someone because you're too damn dumb to know you shouldn't use a screwdriver to clean out your ears, NO govt banning this that and the other thing "for the children"!!!!)

And Phoenix adds:
4. Pray.
5. Hug your dog.

And now I think Phoenix would definitely add "wear sunscreen." We went to the beach two weeks ago and,while we both got sunburned, she got it much worse than I did.

"Much worse" is a severe understatement. My new hobby is growing new skin.