h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Whilst I would have to agree that rhubarb tastes wonderful, I do have a pressing question, why does it leave ones teeth feeling furry?

I do know of a personage whom might help you with that particular problem. Please see Tooth Fairy.

Chinese roundleaf rhubarb, da huang, has escaped; and is alive and well in Ontario.

Rhubarb is a plant that doesn't do quite as you'd expect it to. I mean, you think it's going to work really good as a textile, but there's that little glitch in there that louses the whole project.

And my theory on the fuzzy teeth is that rhubarb has a lot of ascorbic acid - Vitamin C. Apples and oranges give that feeling, too. But there's nothing like a strawberry-rhubarb pie. It's the only way to eat a strawberry pie - the strawberries are Strawberrier with rhubarb added in the filling.

Then of course, there's American Cherry Pie, which some people have used as part of their deflowering ritual. Hopefully only in the movies.

"But there's nothing like a strawberry-rhubarb pie. It's the only
way to eat a strawberry pie - the strawberries are Strawberrier
with rhubarb added in the filling."

Truer words were never spoken... and nobody makes a better strawberry-rhubarb pie than the Mennonite ladies of St. Jacobs, Ontario.



JTG

So tell me, do these Mennonite ladies do anything special with their pies?

Nevermind, I was still thinking about that movie.

Any one know where I can get a pie online?

It's very disappointing, now that you mention it, that these futurist types seldom, if ever, lead us to expect any remarkable improvement in the ease of aquiring strawberry-rhubarb pie. I mean to say, what kind of a future will it be that is born of such inattention to the sort of thing that makes life worth getting fat for?

What movie?

JTG

Oh dear. The movie I'm referencing is "American Pie."

Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?

Later, I think it's Jim's father, accidentally walks in on Jim, who is in the kitchen, *doing things* to a fresh pie that his mother baked and left on the counter.

I should have let this one go. Except that my prayers are towards an agent-type economy. I go to a central location on the internet, say, "Hey, I want a really good strawberry rhubarb pie and I want it tonight and I'll pay fifteen bucks for it."

So all the people in the world who make strawberry rhubarb pies for the hell of it would also be connected to this location, and they would all overbid the other until they could meet the price that the consumer asked, and were in a place close enough to meet the delivery time. Certainly the consumer would have to factor in the cost of the dry goods, shipping (which could be a courier service in a local area) before he placed his bid.

Hey, it works on Priceline, but something that is very quality-oriented like strawberry rhubarb pie? I wouldn't order. Lots of things though, we *can* market this way in the future.

Like Pima Cotton Towels made by a certain manufacturer of quality house linens.

Boy, you've got to hand it to that Jim. His only fault, as I see it, is that his original data was inaccurate.

I think this is how the EEC got started. The problem being that, after all the new infrastructure has been put in place, rules and regs enacted, and umpteen levels of bureaucracy installed to oversee the process, one finds that it has become impossible to find a pie that tastes like anything but copier ink and dust.

Perhaps afterall the trip to the pie shop is not such a bad thing. In fact, it may be such a good thing that the opposite approach might really be a better option: a huge cathedral-like edifice where the world's best pie makers ply their trade, and where the world's most devoted pie lovers congregate for the finest and most fulfilling pie experience.



JTG

Do you think that maybe all of those who are devotees of the pie-eating experience may indeed be compelled to join together under one roof and participate in uninhibited passion for our most exalted baked goods?

I can imagine the accessories we'd bring: Holy Rolling Pins.

So just go with it and the pie will win out over the bureaucracy. The good things usually rise to the top, ya know. That's why we have museums. For things that transcend their original places in the world.

That's why attendance at Fall Fairs should be made compulsory for city folk, who don't necessarily appreciate the value of a prize bull or well-baked strawberry-rhubarb pie.

JohnK

Compulsory, eh?

That's just what we need, a bunch of people who've rarely been outside of their own neighborhoods doing something because they've been required to do it.

Ahh, then there's the idea of bringing the Fairs to the Cities, but that doesn't always get the urbanites clamoring for more. I wish that everyone could recognize a spark of heaven when they see it. Life would be more beautiful.

Of course, there'd be less strawberry rhubarb pie for me.

Please tell me why someone has to muck up a perfectly good rhubarb pie with strawberries?

Fred and Ginger, Rogers and Hammerstein, Morecombe and Wise...

Rhubarb is great by itself, but it's sublime with strawberries. The whole really does exceed the sum of the parts. But when a chap wants to get back to basics, I agree... leave the berries for jam.



JTG