h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Then why didn't you have an insult in your greeting you buffoon. If you don't mind it being on your page, why don't we start a thread of insults, for anyone to join in. The only rules are, no direct swearing, and no-one is allowed to get offended.

Sounds like fun.
Some are born insulting, some rise to the level of insulting, some have insults thrust upon them. This discussion page can be a haven for all of them.
So Researcher 38090, did you think of that title all by yourself, or do you just have a thing about numbers?

No it was given to me, but like my other given name it seems to suit me well enough.
Maybe large numbers frighten you, you are Ausralian after all. Maybe I shouldn't insult Australians though, it is a bit beneath me.

So 38090 (or can I just call you 3?) Australia is a big place, big numbers suit it. We're beneath you? What are you a cloud or something? Hmm... gaseous... of little substance... moist... yeah I suppose that is a good description isn't it? Where are you from? Do you have a home? Cardboard boxes don't count.

From Liverpool, UK. That'll give you some easy targets.
Maybe we should make this less personal/specific. You're the kind of person who could not perform a relatively simple organisational task, even if you were asked to perform said task in a place ideal for such a pursuit.

Isn't the internet a marvelous development, allowing people to insult someone on the other side of the world for no reason at all.

Said insult would have to be very small, of monosyllablic(?) persuasion and... umm... difficult to do when you really don't know anything about the person involved. Hard to do scathing unspecific insults that avoid country of origin, race, gender, minotrity group etc.

By the way Liverpool is a nice target for insults, but these insults usually include a certain 1960s pop group which, while I enjoy their tunes, are now 30 bloody years down the track and no Liverpudlian should have to apologise for them anymore. A bit like Dame Edna and Rolf Harris over here really.

Oh yeah!!!?!!! You must ahve been up all night to think of THAT one!

Yes it is nice isn't it.

Talking about Rolf Harris: Has the SPCA stopped that bizarre Aussie sexual ritual involving kangaroos?

Let me guess. They are promoting it and getting filthy rich and standing for parliament.

Loonytunes, that's like asking about kiwis and sheep. Or do I have to get really low and ask if you keep a pair of velcro gloves handy?

Coming from a race of people formerly known as the "sons of the sheepstealers" that is a bit rich. Statistical fact. There are more sheep, and by extension sheep romancers, in Australia than Godzone. Africans have more wildebeast (big sheeplike beasts) than any other country. And we all know what they say about Africans.

Yes, they come from Africa.

Of course it is a bit rich my friend, this is an insult page of course! I think Australia's and New Zealand's traditional rivalry is a virtual goldmine of insults, much like the US and Canada.
By the way, the World Cup looks nice doesn't it?

Oh and a big touche' to you Scumpit for the geography lesson.

Just looking in the bookies bible. Seems Mark, Shane and John the Paki booker have just cleaned up. Africa... leading the fight towards world peace and brotherhood..... where the antelope roam and the lions kill them. The wildlife TV programmes make it all seem like a quiet Tuesday night in Johannesburg.

Sorry. You've lost me there.

It was a long story. But, the big picture is even worse. Statistics. Western women spent $1 billion dollars on make-up last year. Are all western women ugly?

Most women I know who wear make-up look much better without it, so I wouldn't call them ugly, not even on an insult page. On a related topic, why does it take 10 pages of make up advertisements on any given women's magazine before you get to the contents page? Why do men's magazines have pictures of naked women in them, while women's magazines contain pictures of naked women in them?

Maybe there is money in producing a magazine with pages of pretty fat women not wearing make-up. I know both of them in NZ. Maybe you know the 2000 in Australia. We really need an American link to their 300,000,000.

You can tell them that yourself, I'll just hide behind you like the coward I am.