h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A thick iron door at the back of the kitchens, partially obscured by a trolley does in fact lead to the darkest secret of the Terranic army. To most people, the door seems locked. Those who try to push it however, or who attempt to pick the lock are met with a sharp electric shock and an alarm that swiftly summons a cook.... who is in fact a highly skilled disguised assassin. Those few with a key are met by subtle retina scans and palm scans and if they pass the door opens with a hiss, and, depending on how co-operative people inside are being, a puff of hot or cold air. Through the door guttering torches line a wet stone stairwell. The passage is winding and traumatic. A hand reached tentatively to the wall would find warmth, as though there were highly sophisticated machinery behind.
Finally reaching the end of the tunnel is a wooden door. You knock.... not because it's polite, but because you really don't want to walk in on something. Through the door is machinery. A lot of it.... medievel through to the more advanced stuff, none of it is legal. Well. Some of it is. Like the chairs. In one of these reclines Werekitty, a big grin on her face. Set into the walls are bars and chains a plenty. Even one of those cages that hangs up. Yes sir it's all here. Welcome to The Dungeon.

I've been a very naughty boy!

*Raises an eyebrow and flows off her couch*

Indeed you have.

*crosses to a table of implements and seems unable to decide between an inflatable dolphin and a box of after eight mints*

*Marches in*

Anyone for Tennis?

*werekitty grins*

What a spiffing idea!

*hauls over a rack on it's side into the middle of the floor. Someone attached to it naturally, then pulls out a couple of tennis rackets and a tennis ball from a box, after hunting through it for a while and throwing out electric cattle prods, tongs and the like.*

My serve?

I'll be Umpire.

*dons a black hooded cloak and cackles Palpatine-style*


New balls please!

*Secretly spies on them.*

*The Emperor walks in and glares at Ralph*

You foolish llama, how dare you imitate my cackle.

*werekitty looks apologetically at Ralph*

He hangs out in here sometimes. Says he likes to see a true master at work.

*a couple of dark eldar haemonculi peer guiltily around the corner as well*

*apologises to the Emperor*

*Takes a couple of female homunculi into a dark corner.*

*lies down in one of the comfy chairs*

*Definantly male screams can be heard from the haemonculi and hussassan trio*

*The comfy chair begins to morph and mutate, attempting to swallow Ralph*

*helps ralph out*

Sorry. It's that chair from doctor who. One of my exhibition pieces, sometimes use it in room 101 over there. Some people have the weirdest fears, I'm telling you.

*Emerges from the corner with two bloody homunculi*

OK wjo's been messing with the hormones? I just lost €100 to these two at poker, and they're not supposed to be good at gambling!

They been listening to Motorhead again?


It's the Ace of Spades!

*cackles* so, hussassan. Have you faced your worst fear? Losing at gambling?

*Sighs*
Sometimes I worry I'm losing my edge.

keep at it Werekitty you'll get your powers back soon enough

*salutes*

ThankyouSirTerranSirIlldomybestSir!