h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No no no! I just read in an imaginary newspaper that I just made up* that salmonella comes from SALMON.

The imaginary newspaper also mentioned that lightly fried cockroach butts and brie are the new classy appetizer.






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*Spartus' Chock-Full-O'-Non-Facts Digest, in case you were wondering

I want you to know that I don't believe in brie. Goat cheese, yes; brie, no. It's just a horrible roumor started by bougoisee french people to make themselves indespensable to everyday life.

I don't buy it.

*munches on some cockroach butts*

Look, I'll take you one further; I don't believe in GOATS.

Oh, did you want some cocktail sauce with your cockroach butts? I'd offer you some vienna sausages, but those are just plain GROSS.

This is where i recopmmend Krissy watch the movie Naked Lunch.

No, 'cause then she'd be munching on 'W' keys or something.

What is it Nelson Muntz said? "I can think of at least two things wrong with that title".

I once had scampi in Europe and was three bites into it before I discovered that the little black bits were the little shrimpy eyeballs. They left the heads in. I was only nine years old so of course I did all sorts of gaging and being horrified.

This was the same trip as the egg incident, no?

That would be the lightly fried egg atop a french hamburger that, when poked, has the flowing yellow goodness ozzing all over your fingers.