h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Need essay extension - must grease to Alison - urrggghhh. Need sleep too. When the hell is Johnny the Red going to sort his shit out and post here?
 

I'm afraid Johnny the Red is currently unavailable ... recent events in the former Soviet Union have compelled Mr Red to take a short, sharp holiday somewhere in a mountain-top retreat with a large supply of canned food, bottled water, rounds of depleted uranium, and Bolivian soft-porn magazines (of course, you understand, he only has those because of their extremely efficient ability to shield against shrapnel when stockpiled in vast quantities. Not for any other reason. Ahem. Honestly. And anyway, neither Brian Stanney, nor any of his "associates" were harmed in the "acquisition" of this "product". Ain't nobody in here but us chickens, as they say).

In the meantime, until Mr Red has concluded his "holiday", all business is currently being routed through comrade Enlightenment Man. Any requests for such Mr Red's "services", which include "removals", "acquisitions", "information retrieval with extreme prejudice", or, for that matter, the delivery of some high-quality Bolivian soft-porn magazines, can be left with me, and you can be sure that Mr Red will initiate a customer service operation as soon as he has dealt with the ex-KGB death squad currently approaching up the left flank. With a tank.

Thank you for your paitence. Enlightenment Man

ok ok but my patience is wearing thin - get your shit together - to edit your page you simply clikc on the edit page bit on the goo to the left. how appropriate that it shoudl be on the left, the method of change - grrrr. still bitter. oh dear. anyway, failing that go down to the very bottom and there should be a link to edit all user pages that will also let you change the top intro thingy - it won't happen overnight, but.. i forget, something rachel hunter (that doyenne of wisdom and style) said once. or some such. grrrrr. still bitter. oh dear. and check your email too. if you haven't alreayd. you would think i would be able to stop being such a bossy cow after last night. gosh this is a long post. btw have a look at gigi's page or vegiman if you want to see some cool stuff. a and a to you.

sorry about the spelling mistakes - must be thinking faster than i can type again. grrrrr. still bitter. oh dear.

I'm here. It's done (or at least the front page stuff is done now). When i get the chance i add more stuff - but that'll probably have to wait until I'm sick again.

see ya tomorrow

yeah i heard you were sick - hope you're better now