h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Martin old boy, as it's your turn to add another section to The Zero War can you end it on this episode's cliffhanger? I think it's about time it popped up

I have replied mike.

Sorry it took me so long, what with revision and political strife at home and abroad!

Also mike, I am compiling the long awaited Lord Mike episode guide and wondered if you might give me details about the following stories, which make up season 1.

Season One.

Bwhahahaha!
Casino Raele
The Adventures of Michael Mills
Evil Evil
Attack of the Nasty People
The Man With the Older Pun
Hymens Aren’t Forever
From Prussia With Love
Steven Versus the Cybermen
Steven Versus Assorted Who Villains
Jelly Babies 5
Steven Versus Regular Employment
Albino Royale

Things like polt details, guest stars would be helpful?

Certainly Martin, however, I should tell you that the list of adventures I gave you were wrong, but only slightly. Attack of the Nasty People, Albino Royale and Children of the Resolution should come directly after each other in that order (they formed the "Taxi Cab Trilogy").

Bwahahaha!

Here's a brief rundown of the plot (from memory):

The Stainless Steel Rat proclaimed his intention to take over the boards but a little known chap called Mike Mills stepped into the limelight and said that he would stop him. Together with his ape-like assistant Lindsay the Stainless Steel Rat kidnapped Georgina Dalby and escaped to his castle on Rat Isle. Mike and his sidekick Matt Painter followed them in the Mills-Mobile. They landed on Rat Isle only to find that the Stainless Steel Rat had a pair of nuclear missiles aimed at two of the world’s major cities* and has left Georgina Dalby captive in a cell. The Stainless Steel Rat captures our intrepid heroes with the help f Lindsay and leaves them to be lowered into a tank of piranhas. Mike and Matt escape only to find that the Stainless Steel Rat has escaped and activated the countdown to missile launch. They manage to deactivate the countdown but this activates the base’s self-destruct mechanism. Mike and Matt split up; Mike goes to save Georgina whilst Matt returns to the Mills-Mobile. Mike tells Matt that if he hasn’t returned by the time the countdown reaches twenty the he is to leave. Mike gets lost in the corridors but finally finds Georgina’s cell. She is unconscious so he picks her up and laves the cell. Back at the Mills-Mobile the countdown has passed twenty but Matt won’t leave Mike, saying “your country needs you to much”. Mike appears at the end of the runway and begins to run towards the Mills-Mobile as the countdown reaches zero and the castle explodes. As the explosions catch up on him he tells Matt to start the Mills-Mobile. He runs after the moving vehicle and throws Georgina aboard. The car reaches the end of the runway and as it takes off Mike leaps and grabs hold of the rear bumper. The castle exploding behind them. Back at base N congratulates Matt and asks where Mike and Georgina are. Matt says he doesn’t know. But he does.

*Can’t remember which, sorry, but I think it may have been New York and Moscow.

Casino Raele, The Man With the Older Pun, Jelly Babies 5 and Hymens are Forever were all "mentioned only" stories (they were only mentioned in other stories) though I do have plans to make Casino Raele as a "refound episode".

I believe you have a copy of The Adventures of Michael Mills.

Evil Evil saw the first apearance of Steven Ford but I can't remember much apart from that.

Can't remember much about From Prussia With Love sorry.

You'll have to ask Steven about Steven Versus the Cybermen and I believe I've sent you copies of the other two Steven Versus stories.

I believe that covers them all doesn't it?

The Stainless Steel Rat was the baddie in Bwahahaha!, The Adventures of Michael Mills and Evil Evil.

Mister Thompson (who may or may not be Jason Thompson and who may or may not be Steven's father) was in Albino Royale and Children of the Resolution.

General Borad was the baddie in Attack of the Nasty People.

Paris DeTotty (who may or may not be Steven's mother) appeared in Attack of the Nasty People and Children of the Resolution.

Thanks for that Mike. Sorry I've been taking my time again but I have been away this weekend, and have only just returned.

As the man who actually originally introduced Thompson into Albino Royale in one of my posts (I can recall doing so in fact), I think I can safely say I had Jason Thompson in mind when I wrote that bit.

Not to say that "Thompson" is actually Jason Thompson. But as Mike said, he might be. Or not. Maybe.

Ah, but isn't Jason actually Kheisar Sozei as well?

We should bring Mister Thompson back in one of our stories soon and Paris DeTotty as well. Are they Steven's parents? Is Jason Mister Thompson? Why am I ending my post in so many questions?

Ah, but Mike, aren't you afraid of using too much continuity?

Are we just pandering to the fans?

Are we just being a little bit sad?

None of these questions and less will be answered in this post.