h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I WANNA GO HOME !!!!!

More and more I find myself buying astronomy-magazines and checking out the pictures... Just heard that they're busy somewhere breaking the lightspeed sending information from one place to another at 4.2 times the speed of light. Rescued finally ! Makes me wonder though, They can't send matter so a message will have to do. Now let's see..Say it takes them 5 years to complete the investigation and it takes me another five years to build/buy/steal one. Add the 1 year(5 lightyears divided by 4.2) for the message to arrive and presto ; they send out a ship to come and pick me up.
But hold on, when I got stuck here there were a great many Vogons on Alpha Centauri...so let's say that the message gets lost, gets found, blablabla and finally buried in peat, recycled and used as firelighters. That'l' take another mmphh..20 years...

Oh sh... Well it's back to the drawingboard.

Bye now...
 

But look; while I was at my last cello lesson, I found out that my instructor was part of the original team looking into that, and they actually already have the device ready for sale, they're just keeping it very very quiet as to prevent the floods of peple who wish to send souveniers back to their uncles and such. All you really have to do is go down to the government headquarters of whichever country you happen to belong to, find you way into the basement, go through the door with the "Beware of the Leapord" sign on it, and viola! You will come face to face with the bustling rustle of commerce; which is centred aroung the sale of this device you've been talking about. Now, if only you could convert yourself into a message...

I'll drop by the office tomorrow(well actually today...).
I'll let you know what they said...

The T.

As I have basemendisitis I steer well away of the as you can understand. I mean the offices of our editors are on the umpteenth floor aren't they ?

Well, I suppose...my cello teacher could always be wrong, I mean...for goodness' sake, he teaches people how to play the cello, why would he care about time travel? Well then, I don't know, just thought I'd help

It's a good thing he doesn't suffer from cellolitis...

Yah, I don't know if I'd be able to stand a teacher with cellos growing out of his thighs (I'm figuring celloitis was a pun on cellulitis? If not then whoops I'm dumb and this should be plum forgotten).

No no no, you're quite right O.k. so it wasn't a particularly brilliant joke...

But then again, most jokes aren't that funny in retrospect.

Anyway, what can your teacher do to help us send messages at trans-lightspeed ? Does he have a special Cello ? Is he from Gorwshsa XII ? Anything might help...

Anybody have any ideas on this...?

i find the harp to be the fastest way to get a message to the multitudes.@

Depends. I have an old Rod Stewart interview somewhere in which he says (this is about 1971) that he used to blow on his harp and was always disappointed with the lack of volume.

He only found out how to really play a bit of harp after he had seen Mick Jagger in the studio...

TM.

Jon Anderson plays a harp on "Awaken" in concert. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. I'm not talking about harmonicas. He looked like an angel.