h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OWNING RESPONSIBILTY


It is not my problem that you
Find my presence puts
Your teeth on edge
Your nose out of joint
and You on the spot

By the way,
It‘s not your problem
That I don‘t rate you much, either.

BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD


So much for cynicism
And being tough!
So much for believing
I can give it up
Anytime I like!
So much for being smug
That I’m smart enough
To not cry for the moon anymore!
So much wishing things were different
And knowing they never will be.

CONVERSATION


“You’re on your own now” he said,
Meaning, of course, that I had
The workshop to myself for once,
To read, or write, or work on
This and that. To drink tea.

“You’re on your own now” he said
And I replied “I’ve been on my own
For the last thirty five years”
Went to fill the kettle
TABLE MANNERS




Life’s a peach.
You could be polite, I suppose,
And mop up the juices as you go.
Or you could bite right into it
And chew and enjoy the
Succulence dribble over your chin
And all down your wrists to
Your elbows. You could even
Lick yourself clean instead of
Using a tissue afterwards.

` Life’s a peach.
And then you die.
With unsalted water.

Ere..............just a tiny thought............shouldn't that be.............stuff what I have writted?

Possibly Bluebottle, possibly - you dirty rottern swine, you have deaded me!

Yes, I DO remember them from first time around, too! Didn't understand the jokes, but remember the silly voices and my dad giggling into his green of a Sunday lunchtime when they were on the radio all those years ago. It's sad the things that can scar a childhood, isn't it!!!!!


(3 times I've proof read this, and yes, I think I may just about have achieved a fairly well typed entry)

(We'll concentrate on spelling, next week, OK?)

Spilling?? Nahhhhh - I don't do it guv init!

came acrossed site on msn got some good pics



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Poetry Publishers




Please do not send your work to these publishers before
checking them out first. Email them to ask how to go
about sending your work. That way your work will be
safe. This list was collected from the web and I take no
responcibility for work you send to them.



Mudfog Press (The best new writers from Teesside)
Andy Croft, 11 Limes Road, Linthorpe, Middlesbrough
TS5 7QR. Tel: 012642 864428. Fax: 012642 262429
Email: [email protected]
The Other Press (Experimental poetry by women)
Frances Presley 19 Marriott Road, London N4 3QN.
Tel: 020 7272 9023. Email: [email protected]

Partners Publishers of five extremely varied
quarterly magazines; also regular competitions with
cash prizes. Website:
www.homestead.com/partners_writing_group Contact:
Ian Deal, 289 Elmwood Avenue, Feltham, Middlesex
TW13 7QB. Tel: 020 8751 8652. Email:
[email protected]
Poetry Monthly Press Martin Holroyd, 39 Cavendish
Road, Long Eaton, Nottingham NG10 4HY. Tel: 0115
9461267. Email: [email protected]

Poetry Now (Includes Poetry Now Young Writers)
Andrew Head, Remus House, Coltsfoot Drive, Woodston,
Peterborough PE2 9JX. Tel: 01733 890099. Fax: 01733
313524. Email: [email protected]

Poetry Today (Part of Forward Press group) Remus
House, Coltsfoot Drive, Woodston, Peterborough PE2
9JX. Tel: 01733 890099. Fax: 01733 313524. Email:
[email protected]
Ragged Raven Press So far published four
contemporary poetry anthologies and two first
collections; another anthology is scheduled for
March 2003, with two collections planned for
June-September. In addition, in May 2002 became
editors and publishers of Iota quarterly - first
issue, Iota 59, was released in August, Iota 60 is
in November 2002. Ragged Raven Press, 1 Lodge Farm,
Snitterfield, Warwickshire CV37 0LR (01789-730358,
fax 01789-730320) Website: www.raggedraven.co.uk/
email: [email protected]
SMH Books (Real-life books, including poetry and
memoirs) Sandra M. H. Saer, Pear Tree Cottage,
Watersfield, Pulborough, West Sussex RG20 ING. Tel:
01798 831260. Fax: 01798 831906 Email:
[email protected]

Smith/Doorstop Books (Contemporary poetry books,
pamphlets and cassettes) Peter Sansom, The Studio,
Byram Arcade, Westgate, Huddersfield, W. Yorks HD1
1ND. Tel: 01484 434840. Fax: 01484 426566 Email:
[email protected]
Words A new Canadian literary journal seeks
submissions of resonant fiction, poetry, memoir, and
essays. They do not publish genre fiction, but will
consider words on almost any topic if they offer the
reader new insight into the world and themselves.
They welcome work that has been previously
unpublished in Canada and the US, but will consider
previously published work from the UK, Europe,
Australia, and New Zealand. Writers will receive
detailed responses to their submissions. For now,
they can only offer one contributor’s copy in
payment, but their goal is to be able to pay writers
in the second year of publication. Please do not
submit to WORDS before requesting guidelines from
14268 – 66 Ave., Surrey, BC, Canada V3W 2B3, or by
e-mail from: [email protected] (WORDS in the
subject line). Find out more by clicking here.
Anchor Books (Poetry - an imprint of the Forward
Press Group) Anchor Books, Remus House, Coltsfoot
Drive, Woodston, Peterborough PE2 9JX . Tel: 01733
898102. Fax: 01733 313524. Email:
[email protected] Website:
http://www.forwardpress.co.uk/

Anvil Press Poetry Ltd Unsolicited book-length
collections of poems are welcome from writers whose
work has appeared in poetry magazines. Anvil has had
great success in building the reputation of younger
poets. Editorial Director: Peter Jay, Neptune House,
70 Royal Hill, London SE10 8RF. Tel: 0208 469 3033.
Fax: 0208 469 3363 Email: [email protected]
Website: www.anvilpresspoetry.com

Arc Publications Specialises in the publication of
contemporary poetry from new and established writers
both in the UK and abroad. Runs the annual Arc Short
Story Competition and publishes an anthology of
winning entries. Authors submitting material should
ensure that it is compatible with the current list
and should enclose s.a.e. if they wish mss to be
returned. Editor: Tony Ward, Nanholme Mill, Shaw
Wood Road, Todmorden, Lancashire OL14 6DA. Tel:
01706 812338. Fax: 01706 818948. Email:
[email protected] Website:
www.arcpublications.co.uk
Bloodaxe Books Ltd Unsolicited poetry mss welcome;
send a sample of no more than 10 poems, 'but it you
don't read contemporary poetry, don't bother'.
Authors of other material should write in the first
instance. Editorial Director Neil Astley, Highgreen,
Tarset, Northumberland NE48 1RP. Tel: 01434 240500
Fax 01434 240505 Email:
[email protected] Website:
www.bloodaxebooks.demon.com
Carcanet Press Ltd Conavon Court, 12-16 Blackfriars
Street, Manchester M3 5BQ Tel: 0161 834 8730. Fax:
0161 832 0084. Email: [email protected]
Website:www.carcanet.co.uk Managing
Director/Editorial Director Michael Schmidt. Poetry
submissions: 6-10 poems with covering letter and
return postage

The Celtic Cross Press (Private press, publishing
signed and numbered limited editions) Rosemary &
Nigel Roberts, Ovins Well House, Low Street,
Lastingham, York Y06 6TJ. Tel: 01751 417298. Fax:
01751 417739. Email: [email protected]
Enitharmon Press An independent company with an
enterprising editorial policy, Enitharmon has
established itself as one of Britain's leading
poetry presses. Patron of 'the new and the
neglected', Enitharmon prides itself on the success
of its collaborations between writers and artists.
Publishes poetry, literary criticism, fiction, art
and photography. No unsolicited mss. Enitharmon
Press 26B Caversham Rd. London NW5 2DU. Tel: 020
7482 5967. Fax: 020 7284 1787 Email:
[email protected] Website:
http://www.enitharmon.co.uk

Flambard Press (Concentrates on poetry but also
publishes fiction, especially crime and mystery)
Peter Elfed Lewis, Stable Cottage, East Fourstones,
Hexham, Northumberland NE47 5DY. Terl: 01434 674360.
Fax: 01434 674178 Email: [email protected]

Flarestack Publishing (Considers first collections
for A5 stapled pamphlet publication) Charles
Johnson, 41 Buckley's Green, Alvechurch, Birmingham
B48 7NG. Tel: 0121 445 2110. Email:
[email protected]
The Frogmore Press (Poetry by new/established
writers) Jeremy Page, 18 Nevill Road, Lewes, East
Sussex BN7 1PF. Website:
http://www.frogmorepress.co.uk/
Katabasis Down-to-earth and utopian poetry and prose
from home and abroad - English and Latin American.
Dinah Livingstone, 10 St Martin's Close, London NW1
OHR. Tel:020 7485 3830. Fax: 020 7485 3830. Website:
http://www.katabasis.co.uk