h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Red River Settlement - A1027144
Author: John - U225195

What do you think?

I think it's WKD.

High there... excellent start, however ( There's always a however )

My reactions to the first paragraph are ... where the heck are we talking about here? Scotland? Canada? I've no idea... Maybe that should be clarified.

Secondly... who is Rupert. You introduce him as owning land but don't exactly clarify who or what he is.

Then, talking about the first settlers founding their settlement - maybe it would be a good idea to name that settlement at this point. They received help from the local Metis - but who are the Metis.

Basically, you need more details for those who really don't have a clue of the geography and history you are talking about.

Having said that... the subject matter is perfect, it's just for us poor brits who've no idea what goes where the other side of the atlantic it's a little confusing.

Thanks for your suggestions, I've made some changes.

I'm just off home so I'm not going to have time to look straight away...

However, I did find you a short Bio of Thomas Douglas - it was the Earl of Selkirk as opposed to Lord Selkirk...

Have a glance at http://www.geo.ed.ac.uk/scotgaz/people/famousfirst467.html
and see if any of it is of any use to you...


See you later
Whisky>

Great piece. Surely destined for inclusion in the Guide. Keep it up.

Thank You for recomending the site.
I found it quite interesting.

the main thought I have (apart from "I like it" which I've mentioned elsewhere) is that they like headings around here. And I like links. As some of our Old World collegues have suggested in different terms, they have to be led by the hand through New World geography and history. Any help you can give them will be great.

Since you don't actually get past the mid-nineteenth century, should the title be changed to something like "the early history of the red river settlement?" This could also provide a push for a "later history of the red river settlement" entry. And a "north-west rebellion" entry. and "Louis Riel". and "Gabriel Dumont". and "Manitoba". and "why doesn't CBS do a "Survivor: Lake Winnipeg?" and "Mosquitos".

By the way everybody, I doubled the size of the entry by adding on a bit more history and I renamed it: "The Early History of the Red River Settlement and the North West Resistance."

Hope you like it!

, John Treilhard

Just had a look over your expanded entry. Somebody's going to say it so it might as well be me:

You might want to try converting it to GuideML and putting in headers and footnotes and links, etc.

I also wonder if the new description of what Rupert's Land is shouldn't come closer to the beginning.

Something else that might be asked is: "What is it with you Canadians and your long, detailed, exhausting entries?!" (cf. my A997833, A53443, A1017884, and A1021294)

I like it.

I moved the description of Rupert's Land to the begining.

"You might want to try converting it to GuideML and putting in headers and footnotes and links, etc." - sorry, but I am not really familiar with this site; what exactly do you mean?

Thanks for the comments.

John

GuideML is a variation on HTML that is used for Guide entries. YOu don't have to use it but if you do it will be easier for the sub-editors later on. You can find out more at the GuideML Clinic A187229. If you look at some of the entries on the Front Page you'll see that they have all sorts of headings breaking up the text and so on. These are made in GuideML. It allows you a lot more flexibility with the layout of your article.

How do you like the changes - is that what you were talking about?

, John

You're a fast study!

one small point: There's a tag specifically for headings (</header&gt that you could use where you've used the bold tag. This will make the headings read and it automatically takes care of the spacing.

My section titles have now become headers.

Any more suggestions...?

Thanks,

,John

I just put out a call for suggestions on the "Chief Gordon Lightfoot" thread.

Looks an excellent entry to me.

A couple of typos:

'arrived to late to plant ' - should read *too* late

'Thus, a very tense situation developed
.'

- stray full stop.

settlers > settlers'

pemmican - needs a footnote to explain what it is (it's a kind of dried meat, isn't it?)

What's the difference between a province and a territory?

'they new that ' - new > knew

Hopefully, when this entry is recommended and gets into the hands of a Sub-Editor, there will be footnotes to explain the abbreviations, like CPR, which I found confusing. At the end of the entry, it refers to the completion of the CPR and by this time, I didn't know what it was.

To get a footnote, if you want to do it yourself, you need to use Text here..

"'Thus, a very tense situation developed
.'

- stray full stop."

I corrected everything you mentioned but the above - what exactly do you mean?

, John - also known by many as Allan.

Finally, its been about 20 hours since the last criticism. Has the flow finally stopped?

Please?

I'm surprised this thread has gone over a month without comment. I have a few comments to make if the author is still around...

Azara