h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm tired of the fact that Jennifer Love Hewitt is back for the summer after I thought I'd finally gotten rid of her for good.

Also I don't want to hear anymore about how Chili's new Mucho Grande Nachos are crazy butt-bumpin' big.

The problem is I DO want to see NYPD Blue and The Simpsons.

Ahhh the horrible paradox of it all!

Personally, I hate soccer moms in their suburbans and minivans that they don't know how to drive. I also hate people with money and power that feel that the rest of the world are their slaves. Enough being bitter, tell me how you REALLY feel.

But Krissy, hon, those nachos are freaky-deaky big, too...

That commercial frightens me. Greatly.

Hey! I wanna see the commercial too! You...you....you commercial mongerers

No you don't. You really don't. It gets into your brain and hurts it. I hate it. Spartus, does it make you want to smash your tv? Because it does me.


And then the new stoopid coke commercials are stoopid.

Which ones? Most Coke commercials are stupid.

that doesn't change the fact that you are commercial-mongerers and rat-b*****ds.

No. No it doesn't. Nor does it give me the bullets to put in this rifle so that I can kill that ugly little Pepsi brat.

Hey, I can send you some of those if you would like

Pepsi brats? *is shocked*

I didn't know there were that many.

yeah, they're really getting on my nerves and I was hoping that you would shoot them too.

I've been picking off as many as I can. They multiply like friggin' rabbits they do.

That is really not a pleasant mental image, you know.

yeah, but can you imagine what all of those demonic voices sound like?

Yes I can because they tell me to do things all the time. Hay what is that white van doing out side? No not the straght jacket agane s**t.

They're coming to take us away! He He! They're coming to take us away!

*skips and tumbles around like a crazed midget*

Carefull, I also kill crazed midgits on principle alone.

*gets everyone in her sights*

*suddenly shifts-shape to a loony dwarf*

*continues tumbling*

Now if we are going on about shooting things I would like to add traffic wordens especally the ones who give me parking tickets they should die.

*demonic wispering*

We cant do that mister flibble who would clean up the mess.

Speaking of shooting ppl...Australia now has a GST!

Happy GST Day!

Grab a fish and slap yourself in the face, that's what we're doing!

I must apologise most sincerely for my immature drunkenness...although I am completely sober. I'm sorry. I'll go sit in the corner now.