h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Best On Earth In Perth - A999534
Author: tadpole - U221699

this is a brief look at the local original music scene in perth western australia, which is something i am very passionate about. i would love to see it in the edited guide and would love any feedback on things required to make that so.
cheers,

tadpole.

The content's pretty good, tadpole, but it'll need a bit of work to get it into the Edited Guide - nothing we can't handle though

Have a look at the Writing Guidelines (I left a link for you in your other Perth thread) and have another go through it... in particular you need to be objective rather than subjective (and you are, mainly!) and to cut out all the 'I' first-person references.

The other thing is for the Entry to be as timeless as possible... once something goes in to the Edited Guide, there isn't much of a way to update it, so anything like 'newly-opened' will date very quickly. There's an Edited Guide entry on London Indie Clubs - A395309 - which is out of date in this way...most of the clubs aren't running any more! But if you'd like to take a look at it, there are worse starting points - I wouldn't say that it's what you should be aiming for, but it might give you some ideas!

I've left a message on the h2g2 punk society page asking if anyone's available to pop over and help us out... it's at A909975 if you fancy checking it out.

Cheers,
Number Six

It's good but I agree that it needs tidying up.

I can't comment on any of the new bands mentioned but maybe a reference to earlier stuff that helped kick this scene off? etc:
The Lime Spiders
Saints
The New Race to name but a few.

I'll agree with No. 6 and SDM that the overall content is quite good! Other than the previous suggestions, all I can add is that it might not hurt to tidy up some of the grammar and punctuation a bit, as that would make it more closely fit the guidelines. I second SDM's idea that it'd be great to mention some earlier bands who influenced the scene, there's certainly a good number of them! Otherwise, all I can say is I really liked the entry, and wish you luck getting it into the Edited Guide!

Still planning on working on this one, Tadpole?

Perhaps a move to the FM is in order at this point?

Seconded.