h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have been sitting here in a bored state of inertia for months waiting to be abducted by aliens. Alas aliens move slower than humans. Quite possibly this is because humans bore them. If anybody else is out there waiting to be abducted by aliens please join me. I believe a group booking may be the way to go.
 
 
 
 

I too have been waiting to abducted by aliens who look like Daryl Hannah. I've been waiting for so long, I am forced to conclude that there are no aliens that look like Daryl Hannah. This forces me to go to my back up plan, which is to be abducted by aliens who look like Sharon Stone. It's better than my last back up plan, which was to kidnapped by aliens who look like Margaret Thatcher!

Grey Area, welcome aboard. I was talking to my friend Sussanna, from the South Island of New Zealand, by ICQ, when she typed the most extraordinary statement. She said her computer was away being repaired. Does this mean she has been kidnapped by aliens. An alien would not touch Margaret Thatcher with a May Pole. But it could be fun to have Bill Clinton's friend Monica on board, especially if our hands were tied up.

I too am wanting to be abducted by aliens. I agree that a group booking may be necessary. Maybe we wait until the Starship Titanic makes it's way here.

Actually, I just want to get out of work early, so if you can book us in for an abduction say at 4pm Australian EST time, that would be great.

Garibaldi welcome aboard. Looks alarmed, wipes brow, for a moment there I thought that was Rolf Harris with you. Phew.

Nah that's my boss.

Hi *name withheld*, yes I am doing work. I was studying how I could... *looks at Loonytunes* I hope those aliens come soon. Everyone got their towel?

Builds large towel rack along side of forum wall. Reverts back into normal state inert, bored, hungover.

Well, does anyone have an electronic thumb? That would help, wouldn't it? Or are you set on being abducted the old fashioned way...

Well, does anyone have an electronic thumb? That would help, wouldn't it? Or are you set on being abducted the old fashioned way...?

Look, now I've gone and double posted. How dumb.

Fenchurch M. Mercury, welcome aboard. The electronic thumb soounds a marvellous idea. Hanging my feet out the window, even with the brightly coloured toe nails is not working. As for your self-admitted dumbness. Check in with Garibaldi, he is in charge of madness.

Someone call my name? Oh, it's just Looneytunes

Oh and 2 thumbs up to Fenchurch.

Saw someone today who didn't look like either Darryl Hannah OR Sharon Stone. Could that mean they're an alien? I think I'd rather book a group tour with Loonytunes than go the old fashioned way. After all, there's that unpleasant business with the metal probe up the Kyber...

Grey Area, I am amazed at the depth of your medical knowledge. You can be the official disease carrier on our trip.

Look, it's 04:37 in the a.m., and I STILL haven't been abducted! I demand equal rights for would be abductees! And the aliens don't really need to look like famous Hollywood film stars, honest. Even if they were quite plain, but nice you understand? Or very plain, and breathing...
Monica did a book signing in the town where I work. Came across as a moron, actually.

Should that be, came across BY a moron?

I don't envisage making speeches or signing books will be part of Monica's duties on board. She will be in charge of oral hygiene and cigars.

*smiles* That is sick, but true.

But I don't smoke!

Explain to Grey Area please Garibaldi. You are the one in charge of madness.