h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As one of the researchers based in the Zoo, can I say how good it is that someone has finally recognised our work !
It is somewhat demanding and thankless task covertly studying visitors to the zoo in order to gain a better understanding of this primative and aggressive species.
However let us hope the specimens never catch on that it is indeed they that are being studied as this would then mean an end to a rich source of funds enabling studies to continue !?!

On the subject of arcane experiments...remember the theory about an infinite number of monkeys at typewriters...eventually they'll produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare...?
I get a terrible feeling someone is conducting a similar experiment...attempting to use an infinite number of field researchers at computer keyboards to produce the Hitch Hiker's guide to the Galaxy!

Well I'll be a monkeys uncle !!!

As a former zoo keeper, I can testify that it is all true. I was trained by a chimp to collect figs from a tree and feed them to her. She would clpa her hands to get my attention as I passed her cage and point at the tree. I was not allowed to walk by until I had picked every last ripe fig and handed them over to her. Refusal to do so resulted in excrement thrown with an extremely good aim. I am pleased to report she treated everyone the same way and I got much enjoyment from watching the visitors who did not know about the fig tree.

Hi, just curious, Were you really a keeper ? I was ! Reptile Keeper at Colchester Zoo

Sure, if you put an infinite number of monkeys and typewriters in a room one of them will write something sensible eventually. But before that happens the monkeys will probably have turned many of the type writers into internal combustion engines or hammocks.