A Conversation for Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Peer Review: A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 1

J

Entry: Oakwood, Ohio, USA - A977475
Author: Jodan - Mining 42 and Wit - U201497

I hate to associate with people outside the dome. Oh I do so wish that only Oakwoodians were allowed on this site...


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 2

Number Six

Oakwood, Ohio, USA - good standard format for the title, like it.

Generally I reckon it's a pretty good entry and gives a good flavour of what the place is like. I did find myself asking a few questions as I read through, and thought maybe you might like to know what they were so the article can answer them...

Dayton - as someone from outside the Dome, and indeed outside the USA I'd like a little more info about Dayton if you're using it as a reference point, maybe in a footnote? Is it the main city in Ohio, for example?

"with 9,000 in two square miles" - I'm guessing you mean 9,000 people living in two square miles, so perhaps a little more specificity on that point might be nice?

"teams of this town are usually relating to Lumberjacks" - again, I think you mean they're mostly called the Oakwood Lumberjacks, but that's not specifically what you're saying - you don't mean all the players are related to people who work as lumberjacks, though? smiley - biggrin

Education - "There are two elementaries" - perhaps best to specify elementary schools? Again, it's kind of obvious but it's probably better to be clear for stupid people like me...

Incidentally, there is an Oakwood in London. It's the last stop before Cockfosters, the northern terminus of the Piccadilly Line.


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 3

J

Dayton - as someone from outside the Dome, and indeed outside the USA I'd like a little more info about Dayton if you're using it as a reference point, maybe in a footnote? Is it the main city in Ohio, for example?

>>It's is I think the fifth largest city in dayton in terms of metro population. It's often used for testing new products, as it is the Normal City. I live in a suburb of the normal city... uggh. I could include a footnote.

"with 9,000 in two square miles" - I'm guessing you mean 9,000 people living in two square miles, so perhaps a little more specificity on that point might be nice?

Okay

"teams of this town are usually relating to Lumberjacks" - again, I think you mean they're mostly called the Oakwood Lumberjacks, but that's not specifically what you're saying - you don't mean all the players are related to people who work as lumberjacks, though?

Would you like me to say that we are all related to Lumberjacks in oakwood? I did mean the names

Education - "There are two elementaries" - perhaps best to specify elementary schools? Again, it's kind of obvious but it's probably better to be clear for stupid people like me...

I did, Smith and Harman elementaries. Grades 1-7




A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 4

Number Six

Good stuff, but on the last point, I meant that reading it, I thought "What's an elementary?" and a couple of sentences further on I realised "Oh, I see, it's an elementary SCHOOL".

As I said, I'm kind of stupid, but you could cater for people like me, if you felt so inclined, just by saying "has two elementary schools" rather than "two elementaries".


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 5

J

You're right, I fix

smiley - blacksheep


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 6

Number Six

There's another Ohio-based entry in Peer Review at the moment - A965685 on Oxford. I was thinking that there's probably more you can say about Oakwood, and it might give you some more ideas.

Cheers,
Number Six

smiley - mod


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 7

J

I've read the Oxford entry, it's pretty good.

In fact, the Sub-Editor of that entry encouraged me to put this in PR.

There are three people from Oakwood on h2g2, I'll ask them if they can help!

smiley - blacksheep


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 8

anhaga

I feel like I'm strolling the Far Hills of Oakwood. I also feel like I'm in a Ray Bradbury story for some reason. Perhaps its because Oakwood looks normal from the outside but we're left guessing the mystery of what dark abnormal secret Oakwood hides. Also, one of the Wright brothers got his name spelled wrong.

I think tinkering (coffee can carbuerator?) is all that is necessary to make this a fine addition to the guide.

smiley - cheers


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 9

J

Abnormal secret? I'm not aware of a secret, but if there is one I'm not aware of, it would be just that a secret. Was the brother wilbur or orville? I'm guessing Orville, I'm not actually sure if I'm spelling his name right now. I have trouble with speling repeating leters in words. Bookkeeper I believe is the one with the most, but that's fairly easy to remember... rambling again smiley - blush

smiley - blacksheep (It's a trade)


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 10

anhaga

"For a small town, about the size of any normal suburb, Oakwood looks normal from first glance"

This opening sententence makes me expect some dark abnormal secret. Maybe it's just me.

"Oriville" is how you misspell the brother's name. (not that the Wrights were african-american, you understand)


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 11

J

Yeah, that topic sentence is misleading. It's really boring here. I'll correct the mistake, for clarification without looking it up, it's supposed to be spelled Orville?

smiley - blacksheep


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 12

anhaga

Yes, that is the Wright spelling.smiley - laugh

I like the mysterious opening. You should find some good story. Or make one up.


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 13

J

I have many many stories you would think made up, and I'd have you believe that. There is no lurking terror in the town firestation, nor a fire hydrant that spews blood. As it has been said (By me) Oakwood is unabridged, pure normalcy.

smiley - blacksheep


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 14

anhaga

Well, that's disappointing.


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 15

J

A lot of extremely interesting people, 4 on h2g2, me, andrew, calvin and will are on this, I'd talk to them if they weren't hiding from me

smiley - blacksheep


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 16

anhaga

There's only one interesting person in Edmonton, and he's not on H2G2. Except maybe Jazzedupcurry. I don't really know him yet.


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 17

J

Edmonton is a large city and Oakwood is a suburb. Those are good odds for us Oakwoodites

smiley - blacksheep


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 18

J

I'm gonna get some Oakwood people to write a companion piece.

smiley - blacksheep


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 19

Andrew 3.0 Pro

funny both oakwood and oxford should both be mentioned in this thread.... they're the only towns in ohio i've lived in!


why's this out of peer review?


A977475 - Oakwood, Ohio, USA

Post 20

J

Because I'm working on it smiley - smiley

smiley - blacksheep


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