h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sometimes when I cant get to sleep and a glass of hot chocolate isnt doing it for me I start thinking about those questions for which I have no answers. That tends to work (unless it gives me a very bad headache instead). I guess I could ask on <./>AskH2G2</.> but I am not sure I want the answers

Those that tend to have the most effect for me are:

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If 7-11 stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why do planes have frosted windows in the toilets? (Who will look in at 30,000ft?)
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Does anyone else have a question they ponder every now and again?

Hath
x

Well no, but this seems almost like a scene from that EXCELLENT BBC-series Coupling... Do you know the episode where Susan has removed the lock from the bathroom door and Steve goes crazy about it. Steve and Jeff are walking on the street and Jeff comments on the "lockless bathroom", it goes something like this:

Jeff:
Do you realise your bathroom is totally lock-free, it's lockless? This is a huge problem... this is problem number one, this is a "Houston, forget that other thing" -kind of problem?

Steven:
Why does it always have to be problem number one? Why can't it ever be like problem number twenty-seven?

Jeff:
Oh, you mean trapped dental floss?

Steven (confused):
What, do you mean that at some point in your life you actually sat down and thougt all of your problems and NUMBERED them?

Jeff:
Well, we've all got THOSE nights...

It seems you've had one of those nights It's excellent... I love this series and HOPE, HOPE, HOPE they would make more of it. It seems hopeless thougt.. It says on the bbc-page that they are going to make an american version of it. I say BLAAAHHH!!!

I have just read Dr. Deckchair Funderliks journal and he seems to have had an even worse time of it over the last day or so than me if you read his journal you'll see!! http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/F111526?thread=266961. Mind you Morts not doing much better http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/F100909?thread=266906 Perhaps it was a worldwide bad Karma day As for Coupling... I have never watched it Johanna, but it sounds like I should Hath x

Oh-mi-god! What lives people live... *giggling amused*
Burgulars who are actually dogs and house-pets who get sick over-night and manage to boo all-around-the-house.

Here is a link to the bbc-page of Coupling. Sadly these pages don't usually tell you much anything if you haven't seen the actual show.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/coupling/

it exhausted me so much i fell asleep where i sat for the last 6 hours!

So I ended up surfing the coupling page. The quotes are so funny. Copy-Pasted them here to my own and others amusement...


The Wisdom of Jeff: "I mean, where exactly do you take your socks off? My advice is to take them off right after your shoes, and before your trousers. That&#8217;s the sock gap. Miss it, and suddenly you&#8217;re a naked man in socks. No self-respecting woman will ever let a naked man in socks do the squelchy with her."

The Wisdom of Jeff: "Only an interview? What if I panic? You know, what if I say an accidental word... there&#8217;s pressure, you know, the wrong word could just pop out of my mouth by accident... Nipples!"

The Wisdom of Jeff: "Oh, wouldn&#8217;t that be great... being a lesbian. All the advantages of being a man, but with less embarrassing genitals."

The Wisdom of Jeff: "I need breasts with brains. I don&#8217;t mean individual brains, obviously... I mean, not a brain each. You know, I like intelligent women, but you&#8217;ve got to draw the line somewhere... I think breast brains would be over-egging the woman pudding."

The Wisdom of Jeff: "Steve, you know what the sentence of death is, don&#8217;t you? I don&#8217;t mean the sentence like in executions and stuff, I mean the scary one... Just five words, Steve. Five little words. 'Where. Is. This. Relationship. Going.'"

The Wisdom of Jeff: "Having a girlfriend is like legalised sex."

The Wisdom of Jeff: "Women remember, Steve. It's like they've got minds of their own."

The Wisdom of Jeff: "When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.'"

The Wisdom of Jeff: "I'm not bad. I've never been bad... I'm fairly new to mild naughtiness."

-

Patrick: You can&#8217;t prevent death with face cream.
Sally: Yeah? That&#8217;s what everyone thinks, but no-one&#8217;s ever used it in the quantities I do.

-

Patrick: No, I&#8217;m sorry Steve, you&#8217;ve been with Susan a year now. Either you&#8217;ve got a future, or you should just get married.

-

Susan: We&#8217;re talking about men. They regard nose-picking as the bright side of flu.

-

Patrick: I don&#8217;t have an agenda. That&#8217;s a bit offensive, actually. I&#8217;m perfectly capable of being friends with a woman without any kind of agenda.
Steve: For how long?
Patrick: As long as it takes.

-

Steve: Let me explain, Patrick. Here on earth there is a gap between seeing someone you like and having sex with them, that we like to call conversation.

-

Sally: What do you call people you go out with but you don&#8217;t try to sleep with?
Patrick: Men.

-

Sally: Since thirty, I&#8217;ve had to put a daily limit on facial expressions. I only ever smile at single men so I can justify the loss of elasticity.

-

You&#8217;ve never understood about bottoms, Jane. Having a bottom is like living with the enemy. Not only do they spend their lives slowly inflating, they flirt with men while we&#8217;re looking the other way.

-

Steve: When man invented fire, he didn&#8217;t say, 'hey, let&#8217;s cook', he said, 'great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.

WHAT ARE ALL THOSE CHARACTERS??? I didn't copy-paste them, I didn't want them!"@!!! ...

*sighing with tiredness*
*needing my sleep*
*going to bed*