h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"All right, then! We'll call it a draw."

"It's not a question of where he grips it, it's a simple question of weight ratios..."

And another great moment

"Be--... 'cause they're made of... wood?"

and last for today:
DENNIS: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

[hope this one is not too much for the moderators, still it is a very small fraction of one percent of the script, so I think it'll pass...]



Dancer

"Dinsdale!"

"Dinsdale!"

"Aahhhh! I will not buy this tobacconist's! it *is scratched*."

"he's ... probably pining for the fjords"


Dancer

"My hovercraft is full of eels."

I love the franch castle -
"He already has one"
(and of course the famouse doubletake when the trojan rabbit rolls in)


Dancer

"Well, maybe if we built a giant badger..."

"I didn't know we had a King. I thought we were an autonomous collective."

On second thought lets not go to Camelot.
It is a silly place.

Right!

And then the Graile Shaped Beacon is a classic too...

We ARE Doctors...

"Because It's so clean!"
"It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese...."




Dancer

Drat, somebody already got the watery tart throwing a sword line.

How about "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

"No, I am Zoot's twin sister Dingo."

I don't think anything beats the roving gangs of old ladies.

Not even the Norwegian Skin-specialist sketch?

I love Crunchy Frog, Dead Parrot and Ministry of silly walks Sketches best

In Life of brian - Biggus Dickus and the hopping begger

In Holly Grail - First scene (Cockonuts), Frenchmen castle, Holly hand Granade, The violance inherited in the system and Killer Rabbit.

I like several scenes from The Meaning of Life!
Death Party
Mr. Croesote
The songs...
School
We're not a tiger...
and of course

FIND THE FISH!!!!

Oh yes, I forgot about the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Or the organ donor scene:

MAN: What's this, then? Mmh.

MR. BROWN: A liver donor's card.

MAN: Need we say more?

MR. BROWN: Listen! I can't give it to you now. It says, 'in the event of death'.

MAN: No one who has ever had their liver taken out by us has survived.

ERIC: Just lie there, sir. It won't take a minute.

And now for something completely different...


Dancer

Take the tablets, Tiger!