h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I wish someone would please lead me "To The Clam Center Of The Maelstrom."


What is a Clam Center, anyway?

It was the lesser sister ship to the Brico.

http://www.vancouverisland.com/regions/towns/?townID=54

Well. Now I know where this fellow is headed: A2759042

"My Name And Title Really Is Valkyrie And I Will Continue To Use This High Technology And My Own Knowledge Expertise And Legitimate International Experience To Lead Bi Example All Those Who Are With Men Not Gods To The Clam Center Of The Maelstrom."

So, you figure the Clam Center of The Maelstrom is in Fanny Bay? I would have expected it to be somewhere off the Norwegian coast.

Well, one would think that with a name like that the subject might be Scandinavian, but the dead giveaway was the inclusion of the Lunch special- 'Mush "Surprise"'. Those of us who frequent the FBI and in the past the old Brico cherished this mix of everything left over from the night before (more oysters than clams, though).



I'm sure that Mr. or Ms. Valkyre would be thrilled to talk about the FBI, don't you think?

Having taken a quick look at the 'men not gods' homepage I can only conclude that this guy is absolutely round the bend. Though I would be interested (in a sort of clinical, slow-down-as-you-pass-the-car-wreck, kinda way) to hear his 'music'

there's a link on one of the pages to a downloadable song. I was unimpressed with his singing.

"On His Majesty's Secret Service: The Logic Of 006"
Bi Lord Valkyrie
2004:All Rights Reserved: Copyrights Pending
MEN NOT GODS Music Group Books, USA - UK
-----

20th Of June 2004 In The Year Of Our Lord Christ Jesus

A Chill Went Down My Spine As If The Dead Were Ready To Rise Up Beyond The Thunderdome As Swift As Any Tempest And Beyond The Cinema Peice Poltergeist Yet Then I Came To Realize That It Was Just Yet Another Bit Of Modern Day Evil Making Me Colder Than I Wish To Be Towad Mortal Man Nay Mortal Children Who Not Only Have Mastered The Art Of Zipping Their Useless Shoes With Velcro But Also Seem Not To Have Read The Entire Men Not Gods Website Nor Heard My Rock Opera Baritone In Person Which Is Fine.

"Yes I Question The Use Of Air Conditioners As Well Son."

Fascinating. After All These Decades Still More Time.

Well...Seeing As No Demonic Hand Has Yet To Spring Forth From Every Personal Computer To Smite The Infidels Who Have Yet To Accept Their Fate On H2G2 I Guess Being 006.

"How Powerless The Common Man Has Become How Meritless."

Thank My Dear King James It Was They Not We That Wrote Published And Yes Profited From The Satanic Bible Therefore When Charles Is King Harry Potter Will Just Wave His Wand And All That Is Not Divine Shall Fade.

"Mists Ond Shawdows. On The Edge Of Tonight. You Carry On. We Know Not Why You Carry On."
Ahh...From Fu Man Chu. Delightful.

Truly,

Lord Valkyrie

az

green.

Oh. Hi Az. Simulpost.

Can't talk right now. I have to go get some hay and eight new shoes for Sleipnir.

How.......Intense?

Intense? What?

New shoes for Sleipnir or all that apocalyptic tripe?

Mr. Cohen sure does apocalyptic in a more interesting way, don't you think? I mean "Beyond Thunderdome"? I mean, how seriously would the Hebrews (or Pharoah) have taken Moses if he brought forth the Word of God in ill-scanning limericks?

"Thou shalt have no gods before me,
no images graven for thee,
shalt not say "God Damn"!
for I yam what I yam,
and try to be nice on Sundee. . ."

I'll let someone else do the rest.

Oh no, I've done it myself:


"be good to your dad and your mum
and don't go and bump off some bum
don't cheat on your wife,
that's trouble and strife,
and theivery is really dumb.

Don't lie when your up on the stand
Don't lust for your neighbour's house, and,
it's hands off his bride,
his servants, don't ride,
and his ox and his ass are quite banned."

These are brilliant.

Let The Shift Key Be Your Friend.....

>>I can only conclude that this guy is absolutely round the bend.

It looks relatively sane to me. For some really crazy stuff, have a look at stward's The Adventer A2631070.

Don't worship some weird golden calf
You'll be whacked with my snake that's a staff,
Don't melt down your jewels
You'll just look like fools
and be tossed by the wind like threshed chaff.

I like the comment "Could we not arrange something whereby he could post his work directly to the bus shelter?"