h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As a child I celebrated Christmas by sitting in the back of a van, bumping along country lanes, visiting the four corners of the Isle of Wight. My parents divorced when I was a child and so for Christmas my sister and I would spend the morning with my Mum and at midday we'd visit my Dad, step-mum and half-sister. He would drive to where we lived in Sandown (South Wight) in his van and we'd climb in the back (no seat belts) and bump along the country lanes to his house in Haylands (north Wight), where we'd have dinner. After dinner (fish, as my step-mum was a vegetarian and she refused to cook poultry, but breaded fish was okay). After dinner we would have the Christmas slide show, where Dad would insist on showing slides of the Christmasses he had as a child (mainly consisting of a Christmas tree which was an ordinary tree branch painted white with a few baubles on). This was followed by a walk on the beach.
We would then drive, bumping along in the back of the van along country lanes, to Shorwell (West Wight) to visit my step-mum's parents, where we would have tea and macaroons. From there we would drive, bumping along in the back of the van, to visit my Aunt, Uncle and both cousins in Wootton (East Wight). From there we would bump along to Sandown, where my Nana and Granddad lived and walk from there, round the corner back to my house.
Everyone else I knew seemed to stay in one place and spend Christmas with their immediate family, but we tried to see everyone. Nowadays I tend not to go outside at Christmas, and the day seems somehow shorter.

I think the oddest thing that happens these days is that I have salad cream on my Christmas Dinner as I don't like gravy and otherwise the dinner is a little dry.

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That sounds rather familiar. Wake up at home, open presents from parents and Father Christmas. Climb into car, drive to outskirts of London to see grandparents #1. Open presents from that side of the family, eat food. Drive home. Sleep. Boxing Day, climb into car, drive to outskirts of London to see grandparents #2. Open presents from that side of family, eat food. Drive home. On some years we got lucky and were able to combine the two trips.

The year my parents hosted Christmas my younger brother complained he didn't feel like it was Christmas because he hadn't had to get in a car.

Last year involved travelling from Shrewsbury to Cornwall, to London, to Oxfordshire, to Lincolnshire, then back to Shrewsbury.

This year we put our foot down and said no. No more. We'll still visit people, but not attempt to do it across three days. It's just too much.

When we got married I thought that, to avoid the 'who do we spend Christmas Day with' arguments, we'd agree to spend Christmas Day as a small family of my wife and I - just us two (and then just us 3 and 4 when the kids arrived). With my family on the Isle of Wight and her family in Yorkshire, it's too awkward to try to visit everyone and it would be nice to have our own Christmas traditions rather than follow other peoples. It hasn't really worked out like that as she seems to be either pregnant or ill around Christmas (she is recovering from a kidney infection this year) and in need of pampering. And so we always seem to spend Christmas with her family. It still doesn't seem like a proper Christmas to me, being at the in-laws house. They very much celebrate in a 'sit in front of the telly and eat lots' sort of way, and there isn't even a beach in Leeds to walk along to get out for a breath of fresh air.
It seems it will be Christmas Day with her family, New Year's Day with mine this year. And no bumping about in the back of a van.

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Wow. That's VERY different form our Christmas.

Now, since I am german, we have an advantage: we have three days of celebration.

When I was a child, we spent Christmas Eve at home. My dad would go and fetch my grandparents (mum's side, as they lived close) or they'd arrive in a taxi. After dinner and unwrapping of gifts and some time spent together he'd bring the grandparents back to their home.

If we went to my dad's parents, I don't remember it. They died when I was still small, so I have no recollection of them at all.

Sometimes we'd go (by car) to see my uncle, aunt and cousins (dad's side) on Christmas day.

On Boxing Day we were always at home - it is my birthday.

Sounds like luxury - being able to spend Christmas with your family without travelling anywhere. Were all your family close by, then?

I'd love to be able to have family near by. Neither my wife or I have any family living in the same county as us (other than the children).

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My grandparents lived about 3km away. My uncle and aunt lived ca 30km away - which was quite a distance in our eyes back then.

After I had moved to Frankfurt my parents were 600km away (still are), and my in-laws were 700km away. We went up there for Christmas occasionally, but it is by no means something we do every year. My mother in law moved to Frankfurt after he husband had died and now lives 5km away, so we'll go over to her place on Christmas eve for a few hours.

Sarah's family live 350 miles north of us, in Yorkshire, whereas my Dad and sisters still live on the Isle of Wight, which is only about 35 miles south from us, but the Solent is between us. For Islanders, travelling to the mainland from the Isle of Wight feels like going to a completely different country and isn't something undertaken lightly or often.

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