h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Shark, Headington, Oxfordshire, England - A38885485
Author: Opticalillusion - media mynx life would be boring without hiccups - U231227

As this Entry is a little different from the pieces I usually write, I thought it best to submit it here.

This is great!

The strength of this entry is that you've explained Heine's reasons for constructing it.

I'd try to bring out that Heine's house is in a (Victorian?) terrace - probably the last place you'd expect to see such a striking sculpture as this. Give directions for anyone who wishes to visit the area.

You should mention that the shark is embedded head-first in the roof, as if it had been dropped from a great height.

I didn't see the fibreglass legs. Were they similarly 'embedded' in the building?

Did you want to say a little more about Headington itself, eg 'it's a residential district to the north-east of Oxford, and the site of Oxford Brookes University, and Headington Hall, former home of publisher Robert Maxwell' (or whatever - I haven't been there for a few years)

The title - do people just call it 'the Shark'? I'd have thought 'The Headington Shark, Oxford, UK' might be better.

Finally, Where exactly in America is Heine from?

Icy

Icy for your comments. I have tried searching for pictures but alas am unable to show you what I mean. There were also hands on the other cinema The Penultimate Picture Palace on the Cowley Road ...white gloves like Al Johnson. Searches dn't throw up much on where Hein comes from in America. As for location I think that would work well as the second paragraph. I can amost see the final shape now.

It's coming along nicely

A little bit on Heine here, should you need it:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/oxford/content/articles/2006/01/10/bill_heine.shtml

He worked in Washington DC, so I would probably go for that.

I did see a picture of the legs on the Brighton cinema, linked at the foot of this page: http://www.headington.org.uk/shark/

And I'd call the house a terrace rather than a semi. It was originally built as a semi, but they were joined up later (according to Wiki).

are we now saying wiki is reliable?

Good grief, no. It's just that you can see from the photo that there's no gaps between the houses.

will change that. I'm still wary of the flow to this piece too.

I think the overall structure is fine. Maybe one of two of the sentences could be rewritten to improve the flow within the paragraphs. I suggest you read it out aloud, then make the changes that you think it needs. Then, put it into PR and cower behind the sofa

ok