h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I awoke early on a cloudy Christmas morn. Not, I hasten to add, because I wanted to open the copious presents spread under a tree groaning with the weight of too many lights, ornaments, tinsel and one rather irritated fairy with a tree where the sun doesn't shine. No, this was simply because after years of waking up early for work I've got into the habit. A poor excuse really.

I wandered out to our lounge room, devoid of tree, and devoid of presents. Why? Christmas is barely happening in our household which consists of me, my ex (who is technically now my housemate) and one Painful Pup (a desexed bulldyke Jack Russell who nevertheless still loves us), who lives outside anyway. The computer went on and I logged on to talk to the world.

Well not the world, that would take far too long, but select bits of the world that were a) awake, and b) happened to be logged on in the same places I was.

A lovely, quiet start to the day. It couldn't last.

Mother was to come over later, and so the cooking started. In this case I wasn't the cook, but merely the helper. My ex offered, and who am I to refuse?

The visit with Mum was good. Nice, quiet, easy. A nice chat, a lovely meal, and then she left a bit later.

The cloud broke, the sun beat down upon the already brown grass, perhaps browning it a little more, certainly adding a hint more crackle to my footsteps. No, we can't water, we're in the middle of water restrictions because of the drought.

Water restrictions, for those lucky enough not to know the term, means that we plebs are restricted in how much water we can use for tasks such as cleaning cars, watering lawns and the like. The various government departments, on the other hand, appear to be exempt because...well for all their dodging and diving it appears that they're exempt because they're exempt. With reasoning like that how can anyone argue?

The afternoon passed quietly with my computer quietly fading to the fabled Blue Screen Of Death more times than I care to count. Though perhaps my lack of counting skills is more to do with the amount of Christmas Cheer I've imbibed. I rarely drink, and I think this hit me harder than it would have back in my 'wild' University days.

I made a new friend online and we spent many hours discussing religion and philosophy. It's good to find someone who's read as widely as I have, and who is also deeply philosophical. I have a feeling I'm outclassed, but it's still fun.

A soft bed, a cool breeze, and Christmas, such as it was, is over for another year.