h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*giggles at him*, next he'll think that joint in his leg begins with an 'N'!!!

Oh! I knew how to spell 'gnaw', it was my keyboard that didn't

And the 'pub' is 2 miles from my house of residence I hope that satisfies your strange curiosity

So your still at the pub?

In mind, my dear, I am always at the pub~

But in reality, I am about to go to the bank and ask them what the point of having 24 hour telephone banking is when all that happens is you get cut off twice after waiting 25 minutes each time to speak to an actual human and after that only to get told that I will need to go to my branch to action what I want actioned!! I only want a stinking £50 overdraught that is going to cost me £10 in taxi fares to get

And after that, seeing as I will be in town, I'll pop to the pub

Ah right.

So have you always suffered from telephonebankingitious?

thats banks for you..

God that word is better than any real word i know

Even cromulent? Or Discombobulated?

Just press zero repeatedly and they'll get the idea!!!

So, overdrafts were designed to aid people who found themselves going overdrawn from time to time, yes? I am one of those people, not going overdrawn massively, we're talking about £30 a month. But that is enough to get me lumbered with seemingly endless costs of £20 - £30 a day for their services at paying that unauthorised overdraft off
So I apply for these handy things called 'overdrafts' that were designed specifically to help slightly disorganised people like me, and guess what? I can't have one because I went overdrawn!?

That would, I suppose, be fair enough if I hadn't applied for one before going overdrawn of my own accord and disregarding their policies. But I had applied for forseeing that I may in fact go over what I earn from time to time. Quite thoughtful of me I thought, not to them though, they said 'No, at this time we can't offer you that.' (Don't forget the meaningless grin). 'But here, have a £1500 credit card to rack up further debts on.'

'Ok then,' I say, keeping a rather logical head on, 'You're telling me you'll be quite happy to continue incurring these infinite costs onto my account which are going to be more and more likely the longer I have to wait for an overdraft, but you won't stop them or offer me any kind of a solution?'. There was a little awkward silence, for her anyway, and then she rallied with 'I can only do what the screen tells me.' Nervous smile.

'Ok then,' I say again, 'Let's try for a small personal loan just to get me back in credit and paying out less than I am now.'
'Oh, you see, that won't go through neither as you have been in arrears once with your credit card.'
'Oh yes,' I reply, 'If I recall, I was phoned that evening having not made it to the bank in time that day, and I authorised them there and then to take it direct from my account, which they did.'
'Ah yes, but it still shows up as an arrears and that seriously damages your chances.'

Now I am getting a little perplexed of the red cheek variety. So I begin to think like them

'So, seeing as you are going to continue charging away quite happily and not offering any help whatsoever of managing these mini-debts you're giving me, what do you say to me closing my account with you, directing all my wages and income to another bank, then reducing my credit card payments to the minimum, which is £5 a month I do believe and you can stick your charges up the nearest drainpipe?'

'Well, we could try for that personal loan, I'll call you Tuesday with the outcome.'

'HALLELUJAH!!, a sensible suggestion.'

Still, I opened a new account at the Woolwhich just in case


And the pub was surprisingly busy

Banks are evil sods. Join the co-operative bank
They have an ethical policy

Not the Coop!!

why?

I used to work for them

What was with that loud music last night

*looks guilty*

Must've been downstairs. Sorry, did it keep you up?

No Slept like a baby...I dribbled, gurgled, woke up several times and screamed for my dummy

*looks tired*

Oh no, not at all!!!