h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am finding myself in an odd position. I am friendly with his wife, who is lovely. Her husband has been known to be with other women so I can't imagine that she doesn't know on some level. She is very secure with herself. It might even have become a threesome if I hadn't made clear my nonsexual feelings about women. The trouble is.. how do I behave around her so that things aren't awkward? I sometimes feel insincere because I don't know when to ignore him and when to pay attention to him when we are all spending time together. I also don't know how to behave when they are affectionate to each other (cuddling, kissing, etc). I am not jealous about it but do wonder about the appropriate way to react without seeming suspicious. Do I ignore it? Say "Oh you are so cute"? Just smile?
So when it is him and me alone, I am free to pay lots of attention to him, but with them as a couple and me as a friend, how do I divide my attention so he still feels special and she does not feel ignored?

I am married and have been seeing someone for a while now. He is my husband's best friend who is married. I see his wife all the time and my husband knows that I see his friend and is ok with it. My problem is stemming from the fact that I love his friend and my husband. It started with all three of us just having sex for fun and has evolved into me and my husband's friend seeing each other alone. Which is still ok with my husband. I have been asked to do this for years...always turning them down and then just went with it one day. The truth is that I have always loved him secretly never letting anyone know. I cant fight my feeling any longer and it has taken over my life. I do now know what to do. There have been days that I want to end it but I know I would be misreble and my husband knows and told me to do it if it makes me happy. He does when I see him. I need some guidlines to help me get throught this with my head and heart in tact. I know this is a unusual situation and need help from anyone with this experience.

I am a lover of a married man.

Our affair has been off and on. It started maybe 4 years ago as something casual which recently grew into saying "I love you" he says he loves me. I have a boyfriend whom I have been dating for 6 years. I would say its more of a companionship. And like some relationships certain feelings die.

My lover provides me with the tenderness, caresses, and attention. That is all I ask for. My lover works hard and all the time he is extremely busy. we only see each other 3-4 times a month for 1 hour or 2 at the most. This makes it a painful for me...and that is how recently we had a little quarell which I now realize I have no right asking him for anything.

I ran into this article on being a mistress, I almost felt off my chair! I have been looking for an article like this for a very long time but most of the articles on the internet are so harshful towards women like us. Society judges women like me in such shameful ways when in the past affairs were acceptable.

Yesterday he called me and told me he had no time to argue with me. And that I was very special to him but that he has alot of things going on. I told him to go ahead and finish what he had to do. And that was the end of our conversation.

I have learned a couple of tips from this article. Like he should be the one calling me which he does. But most of time its me. Anyways...I am a strong believer in Love. Just recently he told me he loved me and kept saying it until he made me laugh! He is a very serious man on the outside but when he is with me I am the one who is quiet and let him do all the talking...he tells me all his troubles at home and I do make him laugh which brings more joy than anything.

I dont want him to leave his wife at all. And I have made that very clear. I also told him I dont intend to leave my relationship. So now we are no longer together I believe...I think that was his goodbye. My question is will he remember me? I am 35 he is 65...but very much in shape and sooo handsome!! For Christmas he gave me a necklace with a "key" pendant and told me that was the key to his heart.

In the card he wrote "I love U" instead of saying merry christmas or something else. That really touched me. He does not support me. I take care of myself and being a single mother I also take care of my daughter and mother. So I guess I fit under the "lover" category. Not the mistress.

If anyone reads this a good word of advise will be greatly appreciated...