h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This morning, in a surprise move, Cross Country Trains decided to say thankyou to its regular and loyal commuting customers.
In a move sure to increase passenger good will and inject a little bit of excitement into the daily commute, the had a surprise gift ready for us.

First, they ramped up the tension. 10mins delay. 20 mins delay. 1hr delay. By which time there were 3 trains all going on the same route sat on different platforms. Platform staff were clearly clued into the big surprise, as was the local press. The presence of Radio Stafford in the railway lobby, live broadcasting on this of all days, can have been no coincidence. The platform staff played along well, making cryptic comments about staying on the platform as there would be further announcements as to which train was going where and when.

It was at this point I started to get suspicious that this was no ordinary delay. Oh, there were the usual blank faced excuses of power problems and blocked lines. But we regulars know these happen all the times and rarely merit such obfuscation and diversionary tactics. Nor did they usually coincide with the presence of major press organisations. No, this had to be something special.

After 1hr20mins of waiting, during which all concerned kept remarkably straight faces and played the part of uninformed underling with no power to change things remarkably well, a cross country train arrived.
Clearly this was the signal for the start of the Big Event.

In their clearest tannoy voice, they announced this train was "only for Birmingham" and the platform staff reinforced this by stating it "wasn't going anywhere else". The earnest assurances that this train really was only going to Birmingham echoing back from the disused multimillion pound postal service platform, we decided to climb aboard.
Again, the train manager suppressed his undoubted glee at the surprise he was about to spring on us by repeating the bland and obvious destination of the train - a destination which it was not unfamiliar with from its daily excursions there at roughly this time anyway.

It was only on leaving the station that they finally let us know.
Yes, as a special thankyou to us all, Cross Country Trains had decided to make this a magical mystery train taking a special 1 hour detour to allow us poor, miserable commuters to enjoy the seasonal sunny delights of...
Nuneaton!

Truly a destination to raise the spirits and engender a festive feeling in all those aboard.
Not least because we only stopped there for 5 minutes and were reminded of the fact that none of us lived there.

So yes, thank you Cross Country Trains for this surprising and welcoming gift on an otherwise ordinary tuesday commute in december.
I promise you I shall not forget it and may even send the full measure of emotional response to it in hand written form to your head office as a mark of my appreciation.

Treacle Town eh ? Did the locals point and stare ?

yeah, think they were going to try and burn the unnatural satanic device, especially as it was full of outsiders.

and they still haven't fixed it. Looks like a nice friendly bus ride back that'll over double my journey home. Useless people.
Hmm, I think I've calmed down enough to rant now. I just get very sarcastic when really worked up.

Sarcastic? You mean they didn't mean to send you to Nuneaton?

nobody deliberately goes to Nuneaton

I seem to recall changing trains there once.

The really good wheeze is when they make an announcement that causes lots of passengers to get off & others to get on - then the announcement is changed & the movement reversed. It's just like a party game...