h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Doulgas Adams was a master of the swatting pretend swear word. Why is our long tadition of fake swear words so funny ? Discuss.

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If I bang a finger or drop something, in polite company (not that that happens frequently!), I often go, "F..f....f......f..........follicles!"
Just as they think you are not going to swear, they then hear something that sounds quite rude!

That's really quite true. Working as I did in newspapers, the language in the newsroom was rather colorful. Then transitioning to small children in the house at home was always a challenge.

To the point where I'd shout fudge at work and something a touch more blue at home, much to the consternation of my lovely wife.

Now that I work in schools, I've got to mind my manners nearly 24 hours a day (except for the drive to and from work!).

What was the point of this posting again???

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- Jimi X

I'm Belgian, so I happen to know that Belgium is not that holy.
Nor are any Belgians that I know, including myself.
Being known as a country where paedophiles (don't know if i spelled this correctly) like Dutroux, fiscal amnesty (hahaha!) and XTC-labs make the news,I would not consider my little country holy at all. So there's no offense taken here
Anyway, I suggest some swear words to be replaced, and I invite anybody to complete/edit the list.
Substitute sh*t with sheep, f**k with frog, d*mn with clam,*ssh*le with pony tail, *ss with ox (though oxtail might form a problem), holy with woolly, and osama (recent swear word) with llama.
Try it out, I bet people will still feel offended, unfortunately at the cost of the animal kingdom, but they haven't marched on the capital yet.
In the meantime, my apologies to all animal rights orgs, I was only joking , yet these species would be known throughout the Galaxy, so these swear words might serve as a means of PR for earth animals.
--Woolly sheep, this clammed frogging oxtail system administrator might just throw me off the llama message board for swearing.
Woolly Belgium!

A friend of mine who never swears occasionally finds that sometimes, only a swear word will do. So, when angry or on banging a finger, she shouts the question "Are soles fish?" Slightly ingenious, in my opinion.

I'm new as well, so hello!

I find myself nowadays, at least now that I'm trying to stop swearing, using some fascinating substitutes. Well, not really. :D I try rhyming the swear I want to use... for example:
"Holy sh*t" = "holy twit"
"F*ck" = "duck", "luck", "truck", "puck"
"Christ" = "iced"

Just some thoughts.