h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello on this glorious day, I trust you are well?

Now that Pre-Mod is over I look forward to more great stories from the masters of fiction?

Just thought you'd like to know about a new saga in your Lord Mike Saga pile?

>>Just thought you'd like to know about a new saga in your Lord Mike Saga pile?<<

Speak forth

Due to the recent horrors that the BBCi Boards have faced by one individual, who is truely faceless and that other similar 'pseudonyms' affected appear to be more than they are- namely groteque looking hideous monsters who wish to cause havoc then why are the Moderators so faceless themselves?

Is this a 'clever' plan to subjugate the boards from the people on it or this an invasion by a hideous gestalt with plans to disort order by invading- either way- it's Terror of the Mods!

*****
'Look out Lance, he's one of them!' Lord Mike cried as he knocked Ego back against the wall with his cane, who crumpled hard to the floor.

'Lord Mike, what on Earth do you think you're doing? He's a troubled bully, we all know that!' Sir Lance retorted as he straighten his cap.

'Is he? Or is he?' Lord Mike asked and before he could do anything Ego rose from the ground, looking bemused with them.

'Well done Lord Mike! But it won't help you now? We are everywhere and soon we'll be everyone!' Ego cried exultedly and pointed his hand at them.

'What the devil's he on about your Lordship?' Sir Lance cried as Lord Mikestepped forward and without warning he pulled free Ego's face.

Beneath it was a polished, silver, metallic face set into a permanent grin, red eyes burned in their sockets.

'By Jove! He's a Moderator!' Sir Lance gasped and from the darkness stepped Jenny, Hurricane and Andrew. Silver faces gleamed in place of human ones, many scarlet eyes burned.

'You will be like us. Resistance is futile!' Ego cried when his hand dropped away to reveal a Moderay pointing straight at them!

CUE: FREEZE FRAME

CUT TO:-

CUE: CLIFFHANGER

Dear BBCi,

I wish to complain about today' installment of the Lord Mike Saga. Those terrible Trolls really could frighten children to death. I must insist that the show be moved to a post-watershed slot.

Miss M Whitehouse (Lives!)

Dear Sir/Disciple of the dark arts

In attempting to speak such horrible words as 'Mary Whitehouse lives' in such a fashion you have unwittingly brought her spirit back from the dead.

We of the Moderating Board from which you will soon become like us have judged the recent programme to be allowed but also that your character's name to be corrupted as often as we wish when we use a new license. Please note that all Moderators are not so evil but it is for your own good that you become like us.

Terror of the Moderators is a message of to the world that we're here and you cannot stop us. The future is bleak for all free will.

PS: If you are not authorised by direct communication to read this then you are in a direct violation of several important codes and therefore you are deemed an error that must be rectified.
A transporter will be dispatched to your location, you will become like us. We are the future.

PPS: Well done for utilising the correct usage of the 'Morkal' in the proceeding story: 'The Children of Poseidon' it added to the atmosphere greatly, a superb story you have created.

Your Sincerly

MODERATOR CONTROL NETWORK RESPONDER: 9987653271.

>>A transporter will be dispatched to your location, you will become like us. We are the future.<<

Nibbles: Eep!

Lord Mike: Quickly brave Nibbles, we must hide!

(They hide behind a stack of hay, slowly a large green box materializes and two men in rubber suits, carrying wooden guns jump out. Lord Mike leaps up, grabbing a ray gun from somewhere and blasting them down)

Lord Mike: Die hideous creature, die!

Nibbles: Eep!

Lord Mike: Sorry, got a bit carried away there

>>Well done for utilising the correct usage of the 'Morkal' in the proceeding story: 'The Children of Poseidon' it added to the atmosphere greatly, a superb story you have created.<<

Lord Mike Cheers

Niibles: Eep!

Dear Sir

I wish to strongly complain in the strongest possible means possible to make my complaint heard. This so called Lord Mike has paraded our screen far too often I think it's time.... that we of the originally no talented Board promote this lucky star to appear to appear on the Big Screen. As for this Sir Lancelot Hercules Bonaparte Baylis, his reputation alone has seen fot to frighten the children. At the last special feature he was dancing around a table dressed up like a giant piece of cellary.

My young lad of twenty-seven absolutely refuses to eat cellary for fear that it will jump off the table and start to sing 'I'm a twisted firestarter'. Of course my son never listens to me since I got a new luvvlie and has planned to kill her unless you people get off off your fat and start making Lord Michael Mills into a household name as for that otter, he can remain.

I look forward to the Adventures of Mike Mills and Nibbles but not Sir Lance at all.

PS: Unless I see it on at the nearest picturehouse in ten minutes then I shall send you one hundred and one words why this man demands merit.

Yours Brigadier-General Major Underdog

Held Prisoner in a rusty bathtub

Being fed sprouts through the keyhole

Greatest Lord Mike Mills Fan in the world

Bedlam on the Up.

Richard are you feeling alright?

Sorry I was doing a Silly letter thing back then.

David and Lance do it all the time. Thought you had noticed?

Anyhow that's explained all of that now.... Are you interested perhaps in the story titles on offer? Darkness Haunts has been taken but I'm sure the others are for use?

Thanks Richard, but we tend to go for slightly more silly titles or mickey takes of other titles (Albino Royale, Del Monte or Bust, etc). Sorry

No, story tales as in Doctor Who stories- I believe Martin has expressed opinion in wanting to use Fallen Soldiers and Paradise Falls and with Darkness Haunts there are a few remaining.

Also I'm thinking of going for a three parter introducing a new race: Tredisites and a possible new companion?

I apologise Richard! It was Lance's reply that threw me off!

I am actually about to start a new story so I shall take another look at those story titles.

Eh?