h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(Bows)

Tis' a pleasure, as always, to make your acquaintance.

Shall we have and then, before another adventure knocks on the door of peril?

Knock, knock!

Butler: Good evening Sirs, I have a message for you...

{He falls across the table spilling the tea}

Lord Mike: Excuse me, but's that's the new carpet!

Butler: Sorry Sir, excuse me?

{He climbs up and then suddenly collapses forwards across Lance's lap.}

Sir Lance: Excuse me but those are my legs?

Butler: I'm sorry Sir, it won't happen again.

{Just then Nibbles- Sir Lance's trusty Otter appears just as the Butler comes crashing down!}

Sir Lance: Good grief!

Lord Mike: Indeed, he seems to have been stabbed in the back?

Sir Lance: Nibbles!

Lord Mike: Oh yes and he squashed your otter?

{Lord Mike bends down to examine the body further, turning him over Nibbles is pulped to his shirt.}

Sir Lance: Hmm? A knife.

Lord Mike: Obviously but what's this?

{Lord Mike pulls free a piece of paper from the butler's hand}

Sir Lance: It's a piece of paper.

Lord Mike: No, it's a note! It says: I did it.

Sir Lance: Amazing, then he did it but how did he stab himself in the back while writing the note?

Lord Mike: Lance, you never seem to surprise me?

Sir Lance: Really? Then how about this: BOOOAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH-BOO!

Lord Mike: Nope, nothing at all which is what we have. A dead butler, my butler- I think?

Sir Lance: Wow! You mean this could be the start of a new adventure?

Lord Mike: Either that or he really did commit suicide and I don't believe in coincidences? There's a mystery here!

Sir Lance: No, it's a body.

STING!

Sir Lance: Ow! Something just stung me?

Lord Mike: A mystery but what conniving culprit could be behind this evil affair?

Sir Lance: Look at the size of it. Just swelled up now- well look?

Lord Mike: Yes. We must find this evil fiend before he strikes... Again!

STING!

Sir Lance: Ow! Not again?

Greetings to you Lance, and how are you? Oh yesm and welcome to my little part of Guidedom

I am feeling good, sir.

Thank you very much. It looks a nice place.

Oh thank you so much, I've put a lot of work into it, do you like the curtains?