h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Suz stopped trusting me. This is, I believe, why we are not together. She stopped trusting me. I *don't* think whatever reasons made her stop trusting me were *valid*. I can't *blame* her for what she felt and believed, though her not talking to me about these things is a different matter. The way that I treated her when I was completely fu*ked-up over losing her probably re-inforced those ideas. I was so hurt and angry, I felt betrayed and that she was being cruel and unfair in her treatment of me.

Yes, trust is absolutely vital in a relationship, without it, the whole thing falls apart. In many ways, love could be defined as trust in its ultimate form.

You're doing some good, positive thinking here, well done. It's not easy to analyse stuff that is so painful & manage to sort through to find the truth.&

zdt

I heard a sound-byte that stuck with me . . . "Trust is not about the other person - trust is your own ability to deal with falability in others."
While I also believe that you need a certain degree of certainty in anothers integrity - I also see how true it is that people who dont trust (or love?) themselves can never love or trust others completely.

In this perpective too, what you say is true - its not about us always. We tend to take other peoples actions and reactions so personally, but its really not always about us. Some people have simply never developed the capacity to love or trust consistently and completely - because they dont love or trust themselves.

The addage "to have a friend you must be a friend" is also tied into this, how can we love or trust others when we wont afford ourselves the same?

Glad you're working through this You go guy!