h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My weight and smoking problems are a form of self-harm that unlike my cutting and burning and literally beating myself up, that I have little or no real control over.

I haven't gone down the volunteer work route before because of lack of belief in myself and fear of people and failure... and simply being too unstable to commit to something.

Now I'm trying to get myself ready for a return to education, I need to prove to myself that I can do the work and pass an exam. After that I have to prove to myself that I can get a job and work. Inbetween those two things volunteer work may be the right thing for me to do.

What would you like to do - workwise I mean? What thing could you do that would give you a "what for" something that would really inspire you?

I just want to get a job in a book shop and work my way up until I'm manager or have enough experience to found my own...

A bookshop sounds wonderfull! I love seond-hand bookshops, I feel like books build character with each reader . . . . . I often go and just browse for hours.

That sounds like a marvellous aim . . . . so perhaps you could combine the two ideas - volunteering and bookshops. Perhaps you could volunteer to assist a charity bookshop to collect books and then deliver pamphlets in the area arround you asking people with old books to call you to come by and collect them. In that way, when you go for a job in a bookshop, you'll show some experience in working with books . . .
Or you could volunteer in a library . . . I dont knwo how easy it is to get work there, but its always easier if you can show you've been active in some way in that industry.

Anyhow, just a thought , with charity works and such you usualy find that the people that you'll find there will be gentler than "public" and so it might be easier to get back into being arround people in a gentle environment.

At the end of the day, you have to CHOOSE to get well, you have to WANT to be better . . . there IS joy and peace out there, I promise, just make that descision to go and find it!