h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just wanted to let you know that the stuff you say in your journal is really damaging to someone who is still trying to live without talking to the person that they cared for. So don't try to respond to this because I won't be bothering you again because honestly, I don't think that it's good for you. Don't e-mail either because my mother would kill me. Not at my home one at least. I might talk to you later. Just see. Love you.

Don't pretend you ever cared about me. It's not as though it would of been hard to find a way to contact me if you actually wanted to. I won't be emailing you I won't be phoning you. If yopu want to talk to me here or on AIM you can it's really upto you. Don't go using my welfare as an excuse for not bothering me.

That's bullshit and you know it

OK tell me why I haven't heard from you in so long, tell me why you never replied to any phonecalls and what is it that made getting online impossible...

To start with my mom lost her job and was home all the time. I have school and band everyday. My mom changed my passwords and I just found out what they are, My cell phone won't let me call overseas. None of my phone cards ever work because I can never get a connection into western europe. And the last two times you called I couldn't just pick my phone up. One of which I was at a funeral for a friend and the other I was reading to my little cousin trying to get her to go to sleep. So I'm sorry I have a life. It's not like it didn't hurt me either, I have new scars to prove that one.

I'm sorry about your friend.
You say you've started cutting?
I loved you and you just stopped being there without any evidence of caring about it.
You don't have internet access at school or at libraries in the US?

A) my car was taken from me as part of my mother's punishment thing.
B) Computers at school can only be used for research. they have most sites blocked
C) I burn, it tends to hurt more..... self punishement more than anything

Sorry.BBC site aren't blocked at schools in the UK.
You're mother is a very lame person. To put as politely as I can.

I loved you.

It's not like I didn't care. You need to understand that. My mother is impossible. I still love you. I've had four people ask me out since July. and I have turned all of them down. One of them I have wanted for years. That's how much I love you. and if you don't belive it I'm sorry.

It's not like I didn't care. You need to understand that. My mother is impossible. I still love you. I've had four people ask me out since July. and I have turned all of them down. One of them I have wanted for years. That's how much I love you. and if you don't belive it I'm sorry. I have to go take care of my puppy. you have an email that you might want to read. It's got a different addy on it. use that one.

Is really possible to go on where we left off? I don't know if I still love you maybe I do and was just easier for me to believe that I didn't love you and you didn't love me. I find it hard to belive anyone can love me. I want you to be happy. Maybe you'd be happier if you took up that offer from the one you've wanted so long.
You have a puppy? Cool, what is s/he?

Love and Hugs...

I don't know if it is or not. my mom still monitors everything. They actually. St. Bernards. Sabastian and Sarah. They are my babies. And he is actually already with someone else. So that posibility is gone.

St Bernards are adourable.

What do you want from me? I can't deal with being in love with you and having no contact.

Why do you think I gave you my other e-mail?... My phone was just disconnected but I'm working on that. I'm saving money to get my own computer so we can talk without my mom interfering, I'm still trying to talk my dad into paying for UofS I'm trying to make it easier.

So you want me to wait for you? I haven't recieved a reply to the e mail I sent you... but that could be my lame e mail server... I'm not saying I don't love you, I'm saying I don't know... It's the BPD simply thing like that can be confusing in a situation like this... I care about you and if you really love me and want to try then I will try to work with you.

Love and Hugs...

If you want to wait. If you don't we can end it. I just don't want to hurt you anymore. I'm tired of lying to myself that I didn't.

I don't want to end it, I know that much... I'm too confused about what I feel to end it now because it could be something I'd regret terribly later... I don't want to loose contact with you ever again...