h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I work as a counterperson in a small business (newsagent), and find that everyone I work with is fine, except for this one guy.

He is in his 50's (or so), somewhat fanatically christian - I mention this because, as a lesbian, I find his moral crap even more offensive perhaps than others would -- and he is on the level where he was warning the boss that her yoga classes were 'satan's influence' . .which got me more than a bit angry, because it upset her, and she is a really nice lady - and has issues with deodorant (I assume this from the smell, which employees have actually left the store to get away from - it is not a minor issue, he stinks). Anyway.

Said colleague will corner any female (worker or customer), blocking their path, and start talking. And not stop. Ever. This can be circumvented only by, upon spotting him, moving quickly in the opposite direction. And not speaking to him. At all. Hello is an invitation. This man hangs around (he delivers papers in the morning) afterwards behind the front counter. He is not being paid and is not supposed to be anywhere near the counter. Ask him rudely what he is doing, he will inform you that he is 'protecting' you, as a female behind the counter with no-one else in the store is an invitation to robbery. With him there it will not happen. The man stays and any time a female approaches the counter who is not wearing some kind of zipped up coat he stares directly at their tits (not excluding children I might add, which angers me even more), pushes in front of you and tries to serve them. Then he proceeds to make vulgar comments about their bodies the second they have left the store.

He will then bring out the porn. He will undo the wrapping, start showing the counterperson the pictures and read the articles out loud to her. He will tell you first how beautiful his wife is, and how he could never even consider looking at another woman, then proceed to go thru the porn and describe everything to you. A couple of co-workers get flustered by him, and some vestige of manners prevent them from ripping him a new arsehole. I also have (some) manners, but no such illusions. Particularly since he also likes to spew prejudiced bible thumping (which I have a *very* low tolerance for).

I do not speak to the man. I push past him with an 'excuse me could you get out of the way for a sec' about 10 times a minute (trying to get him to leave). He speaks I pretend I can't hear. He mentions something religious I say I find christianity offensive and would prefer not to hear about it. He brings out the porn - is yet to try that one on me - I would call the police. He seems to have grasped this, and has complained to the boss about me. She was laughing when she told me about it, somewhat amazed that I had managed to upset him (this man will not take a hint if thrown wrapped in a block of granite).

The thing that really bothers me about this situation tho is that the bosses do nothing about it. Any female worker is harrassed by him, he is awful, a dickhead, bitched about by everyone, (including bosses), but nothing is done. They never tell him his behaviour is inappropriate. Last friday the girl I work with came up the front (i hadn't noticed he was down there - i would have deliberately called her up front if I had - such is our environment that we have such contingency plans). She was upset, cos he had cornered her out the back, and as it was 40 degrees, she was wearing a dress, and he will make a point of staring down your top if you are wearing anything other than uniform, and make comments on your body. Which I will get on the attack about, but workmate just felt very uncomfortable and was just about crying. She had a heap of work to do on the back computer, but felt that she couldn't be there because he was standing there leering at her tits and commenting on her body.

I hate this man with a passion, and am just waiting for the second he says something innapropriate to me. I am incredibly rude to him (by my standards - middle class politeness means not speaking to him and avoiding him, giving him looks ) trying to put off the moment he says something to me that will set me off. Because he will, and I will get fired. After giving him a good piece of my mind. I hope it's worth it.

Set up a tape recorder. Get everyone to start documenting his inappropriate behaviour...and when you've got a chache of evidence...







Take it to his wife.

What a scumbag...if he said anything about my body he would get some very honest comments about his own...and I'm surprised noone starts sniffing around him and asking him if he can smell *really* bad BO...theres nothing wrong with not using deoderant - but that doesn't mean you can't be clean and unsmelly.

And of course if you could get cheap security cameras installed he wouldn't need to protect you

A Christian fanatical enough to denounce yoga, yet who openly reads porn and stares at women? What a -o. One could direct him to the Bible to find out what it actually says (i.e. "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.", whereas yoga doesn't get a single mention.).

Pencil Queen's idea is good too.

The man sounds genuinely disturbed. Much as I loathe and detest the godsquadders, this really doesn't sound like his problem has anything to do with religion per se, he sounds mentally unstable and misogynistic (mind you that could also be applied to many fundy-mentalist xians, but anyway..... I think that maybe in his case xianity is just a handy crutch for his own wee problems.

Have you thought of calling a meeting with your other workers to discuss measures to rid yourselves of this twerp? I wonder why, if he is not being paid, he is allowed to remain in the shop upsetting people?

Most importantly, I would not give him the satisfaction of being upset with him. Remember, You are Right, he is wrong. That is all you have to state to him, slowly and clearly, over and over again - 50 times a day if necessary. "Do not speak to me, you are being offensive" "Do not speak to me, you are being sexist" and so on. Loudly and clearly, preferably in company, as often as possible. If he touched me, I personally would scream like a banshee and call the police. Don't worry about creating a scene in such an instance - he caused that, you are simply protecting yourself.

I can tell you something else, if I felt a store clerk (or anybody else for that matter) was looking at one of my children inappropriately he would be lucky to leave work that day wearing his balls in a sling, and I don't have much respect for any parent who would let this person away with such behaviour.

Another person can only make you a victim if you let them (of course I only speak of adults and do not speak of actual physical assault here), but if you choose to treat him with the contempt he deserves, and your co-workers do so too, he will be relegated to the status he deserves.

His body odour might be another deliberate assault on you all or it might just be that he's a smelly pig and doesn't realise it - but either way there must be work relations guidelines for this sort of thing. Have you asked the opinion of a lawyer? Even the Citizens Advice Bureau might be able to help.

You all have to stop letting this man rule your working lives. Get him in perspective. He is simply one small, smelly, misogynistic prat. Get rid of him or force him to change his ways.

Just my thoughts.

Regards