h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The first winter in my first flat was particularly chilly. I found the most efficient way of producing heat was to have a continuous party from mid november to early march. I took up smoking because I thought it would produce some amount heat. This small amount of heat could could have been the difference between thrre additional layers of clothes or four layers of clothes. However, on reflection it does greatly increase your risk of terminal illness. I have since become a seasonal smoker.
I eventually aquired a propane gas heater. I thought this would be the end on my worries however, once on, the fire caused the air to condence. this resulted in the niagra falls on the living room walls. From an initial dry cold, overnight we had to organise sailings between the two bedrooms and "do a moses" to get to the kitchen from the bathroom. This was more than five years ago and I think I am still suffering from the cold brought on by the dampness. Next time I will burn the couch!!