This is the Message Centre for Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted

hmm

Post 1

Demon

I had a look around your website earlier.. I enjoyed reading your job description it sounds like a lot of hard work but very interesting.. I looked at your photo's as well.. I must say you are very beautiful... you should put more picture up.. I'm greedy smiley - biggrin

And no, that wasnt a come on.... I just call things as I see them..


hmm

Post 2

Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted

thankyou smiley - blush I of course cant believe that i am worth looking at but that is because i a have no self esteem.

My work is very interesting and very demanding, but at the moment i am on longterm sick - so longterm in fact that i lost my job because of it, however they have said they will re-employ me when i am well, but there's just no point keeping me on the books after a year as i wasnt getting paid anything anymore!

Thanks for taking the time to look at my website smiley - smiley

Drop by anytime as i am usually here. (apart from last night when i spent 17 hours offline smiley - yikes as i have a cold and feel rubbish. It is only a cold, but some of the meds i am on affect my immunity so it hits me harder than most)

Mort


hmm

Post 3

Demon

Well you dont have to believe it.. as long as I do thats all that matters smiley - tongueout

At least you have a job to look forward to when you are ready... and its obviously something you enjoy and are passionate about.. most people work for the money.. but it appears you work for something more.. and thats a good thing!

It was my pleasure taking a look around... smiley - biggrin

I'm generally lurking about myself.. I work 6pm-2:30am and check this when I have some quiet time... hehe.. its taken me 45 minutes to write this in between calls...


hmm

Post 4

Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted

City of Angels? is that the film with Nick Cage and his soulmate he gives up his wings for and she dies? I love that film

(sorry i was lurking in your conversations smiley - blush)

One of my favourite films is 'what dreams may come' with Robin Williams.

Makes me cry every time.


hmm

Post 5

Demon

yup thats the movie... and I think its great...

Hmmm I havent seen 'what dreams may come' .. might have to keep an eye out for it... and feel free to lurk any time.. I do smiley - tongueout


hmm

Post 6

Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted

its a great film but typically it does end happy ever after but it is suitably depressing through the rest of it.

So are you stuck at work now? i have had a glass of wine cos i feel crap and it has gone straight to my head so i anticipate an early(ish) night.

Got a couple of entries still to sub but can't really be bothered tonight.

Think i will have to go and raid the cupboard for some chocolate smiley - laugh


hmm

Post 7

Demon

Yup I'm at work now.. I have a nice bottle of scotch waiting for me when I get home... help me sleep eventually...

Chocolate is always good.. anytime anyplace... I'm eating some now.. in between calls... smiley - biggrin


hmm

Post 8

Demon

Hope your feeling better now...


hmm

Post 9

Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted

Spooky - i saw you were online and was just about to post to you.

I am a bit better thanks, just left with a cough that makes my lungs ache - it would be helped by less cigarettes i am sure.

How are you? Still fed up with England and life?


hmm

Post 10

Demon

I'm glad your at least feeling alittle better.. I never stop smoking when I am sick either...

I'm still alive and functioning... lots of chocolate and alcohol to keep me sane... they seem to be my only pleasure as of late...


hmm

Post 11

Demon

Cough gone yet?

Hope so before it turns into bronchial pneumonia...


hmm

Post 12

Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted

yes thanks, it has cleared up! So i am having a treat of a glass or two of wine - again!

It's quite warm here and any warmer it will be uncomfortable indoors - although i am sure lots of people are happy baking themselves in the sun, i am not one of them. I like it just warm enough but not hot and stuffy!

How are you doing?


hmm

Post 13

Demon

Surprised to be alive after this weekend ... things got too much for me and I literally tried to drown my sorrows in alcohol.. was unconscious for 2 days but woke up ok... it was a very bizarre experience to be honest...


hmm

Post 14

Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted

Sorry to hear that, i have done a similar thing with my meds and alcohol before - just kept taking them until i was unconcious.

Just to get away from everything. I thought, i will either wake up or i won't.

Was there a particular trigger for it or just stuff building up or just life. Don't answer if you'd rather not.

I can't stand that feeling.


hmm

Post 15

Demon

I think it was a buildup of a lot of things... I can pinpoint one in particular... I wasnt depressed when I went out.. I was in a really good mood... I realised what I was doing but just couldnt stop.. like my body had made a decision and my brain was screaming stop thats enough your going to put yourself in hospital.. but my hand and mouth just kept going.. it was very disturbing like I was trapped..


hmm

Post 16

Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted

being able to at least recognise the seies of events and thoughts that led up to it is at least something i guess, however doing something about it the next time it happens is another thing entirely.

Don't beat yourself up about it though. I have done stuff that i know i will regret such as cutting myself to pieces but at the time i can't help it.


hmm

Post 17

Demon

More in shock of it... it was like watching a movie in a way or being a bystander.. not beating myself up over it.. but I never realised how deeply SAC had disturbed me..


hmm

Post 18

Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted

sounds like you were dissociating - often described as watching a movie or being in a bubble and not being able to connect with the world - like there is a film between you and the real world.

You can be doing something and it feels like you aren't involved in what you are doing.


hmm

Post 19

Demon

Thats exactly how it was.. I didnt like it at all. was like a bad bad acid trip


hmm

Post 20

Demon

Glad to say I didnt have a repeat this weekend.. I did drink.. but that feeling didnt come over me.. did manage to scare a few people when my new friend and I were walking through the streets of cardiff singing 'the phantom of the opera' ... hehe...

How are you doing?


Key: Complain about this post