h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Does anybody want to fill out my DLA form for me?
It doesnt expire for another 6 months yet they sent me a re-claim form. i phoned to check and they said it is to allow for processing time
How am i, or my doc, supposed to make a claim on circumstances that will be relevant in 6 months? Of course by then if they have changed, they would expect to fill in a new one again

Oh, the idiocy that is beurocracy... indeed.

Have a glass of to relax you before you start.

rolls out red tape with "serious forms waiting time"

i have got as far as filling in my name and address and have lost the will to breathe!

hears Mort's

thinks about CPR, but does not want "Arnie", when I ever decide to go into politics.

Mort as Patron Saint of Chance and Red Tape I will do whatever I can to help - but even guardian angels know there are some battles they can not win alone.

I will blow luck in your direction to give you a better chance. It does mean however you have to keep on breathing.

Hath

I shan't blow in your direction...wouldn't want you to catch my cold.

The chances of me catching your germs from here have to be pretty slim - but I can always get my own back by wrapping you in red tape if you managed it

All considered though - thanks - rather not have the germs youre right!

Hath

I could sneeze into a box and wrap it in enticing red tape then send it to you...

Nah, I'm too nice for that.

suddenly I feel a little green around the gills

Hath

I am still only half way through - completed one of the forms, now just got the more complicated one to do

Think i will go to bed and try to finish it in a calm and relaxed environment. (ie i will fall asleep and ignore it )

I have already had a letter saying get a move on with sending it back. Are they having a laugh? 6 months in advance they send me it and want it back within a month, as it takes them 5 months to process it Utter nonsense.

Good luck with it! Luckily I've only had to fill one in twice. I think the last one was dated four years in the future.

make sure you lay it on thick..don't be shy about your illness...they will try to stop you getting it if they can. I got DLA for my daughter until she was 14 but then because she went to school by herself..they stopped it and said she didn't need care. So although it's a pain take great care in filling it in..good luck

I only got round to finishing the forms off a month ago , but they were really exhausting and sometimes the thought of it would stress me. I tried to lay it on thick.

Questions like do you need reminded to get dressed? Well technically no, but I answered yes because sometimes I am so depressed I won't get dressed or even bother going to bed, I will just lay on the sofa for 3 days in the same clothes not washing or caring about anything (minging I know know, but that's what depression does).

So I then have to write an explanation to all these answers so I don't get done for fraud.

Anyway, i got my bank statement today and I nearly had a freak out as I thought they had only been paying me half of my incapacity benefit. So I dug out the letter to check the amount and get my reference number to call them (pointless phoning them anyway) when I noticed that they were paying me every fortnight not every month so it was right afterall