h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am having a break in the dark clouds (for 12 hours now) so i will update anyone interested. Rather than having a long journal entry on my page i will reply to this m,essage and write it there.

I am...interested,that is....???

keep on shining A928064

Ok, where to start...
I have not been very well at all over the last 2 weeks and have not been kind to myself.

I got a message to say that the guys at my ex work had clubbed together and bought me something. I thought they had forgotten about me and didnt care. (although i knew that wasnt entirely true my negativity made me believe it cos it took them so long) I was hurt that they hadnt even given me a leaving card. Anyway I went round to the branch surgery (about 10 mins from where i live) and had an anxiety attack on the way but forced myself to keep going. The card they had signed made me cry because they wrote some lovely things in it - not just the usual good luck and hope you are better soon etc. Then I opened the pressie - they had bought me a DVD player and a dvd. Well I was blubbing my head off after that as i was really blown away by it. the reason it had taken so long to sort it was they couldnt decide what to get.
I spoke to the nurse that has taken over my job and we had a good chat about it and we both feel better about the situation now. Although when i got home (another stressful journey) I cried for about another 10 hours. Think i had so much pent up feeling that when i was triggered it all came out. Freeze out the feelings and nothing hurts, but this means freezing out the good feelings too. However the kind gesture unleashed everything - good and the bad too.

the dss have been driving me crazy and a friend came round and sorted out stuff and let me knew exactly what was going on and what i needed. Turns out the incapacity benefit is waiting to be paid to me but they need another sick note but they didnt bother to tell me. I am also entitled to income support (even though they wrote to me and told me i wasnt)on top of the incapacity and disability living allowance but they are waiting on my p45 (which the incapacity people have - same people BTW) so now i have to reclaim.

Spiggy still has a bad ear and overnight has chewed his leg to bits (licks it bald and then the skin till it ulcerates) which is a sign of stress. Dont know what triggered that as he is still getting his tablets (clomipramine) Wonder if he is picking it up from me.

Got front page top pick today!! Although I dont really deserve to be credited as co-author as my input (via peer review) wasnt enough to deserve it, but it was a great feeling as the only other entries i have been involved in are those that i sub and the community collaborative topics.

My antidepressants have been doubled but it is too early for them to take affect yet.
Last night i didnt drink a single drop of alcohol, which is the first time in weeks as it has been my only escape from myself and my feelings.

Re arranged dental hospital referal appointment which i had been stressing about so much i didnt go. and also arranged gas safety check that was due. These dont sound like major achievements but believe me picking up the phone can sometimes send me into an anxiety attack. I also sold my Robbie Williams tickets via a friend to one of her work colleagues as i know i wont be well enough to go. I thought the tickets would go to waste but as S has sorted it, all i had to do was post them to the address she gave me. I sold them for facevalue even though i know i could have got more for them if i advertised but i was just happy that someone was going to use them and the person that is getting them is over the moon.

I also spent 5 hours - yes 5! - deleting my backlog of messages i dont need, and i only got as far as April!

I feel like i have run a marathon and am exhausted. I dont know how long the brightness will last - not long, but it has been a much needed respite from the dark.

Told you it would be long journal entry. Think i have probably missed something but thats all i can remember.Need to get some sleep - shame as its such a sunny day, but i cant go out in it anyway.

Mort

Well-written Sir Mort!it`s nearly 5am here- I`m `cos I`ve been
I`m off to to

..to ...I`m off to

Sir Mort
you are goodie

Since you missed the sun enjoy the

Thankyou!

Actually today it has been so hot i am sitting in bed shorts and a vest top sweating (sorry err... 'glowing' ) most unladylike! And its 9pm BST

This is Scotland - its supposed to be cold!! I cant stand the heat - its been about 5 degrees too hot for me and everyone else is lapping it up.

Of course it doesnt help that i have to wear long sleeves when i am out

I like warm, no rain, no wind, but can't cope with hot and humid. I am probably the only person in the country moaning about the sun but i always was controversial!

I don't like the heat either..

well you and me can stick together and moan about the heat
and everything else in the world too!!

Glad to hear you're feeling better. I know from experience that it's really difficult to get out of a rut, but the strangest things can trigger it. I hate the heat too, but in HK it's really humid and nasty, not like the UK. I've got to go to attend to my own problems
sbe

hands Sir Mort bucket of cold water and

*Poors some Ice into the bucket and places a bottle of in there to chill*

waves large fan .I moved to Scotland to get away from the heat...don't like it too hot sorry I've not been around ...got problems at work...I'm glad things are starting to feel better.... look after yourself.